Just Another Day in the Life
by NeptunesBlue
Summary: A drabble series consisting of pieces that had no other place to go. Inspired by various lyrics, quotes, and prompts. Not always a pairing; but when there is, you can bet it'll be MxF
1. Wrong Way

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Ever have one of those moments where you just HAVE to write? I'm currently in that mood right now. Consider this the consequence of my decision to stay up until 7am reading and then proceeding to "nap" until 3pm. Thank God it's Sunday. *sigh* I am incorrigible…

Anyway, enough of my bitching. **I WILL REMEMBER TO INSERT PAGE BREAKS THIS TIME** because I always somehow forget! This will be scenes between various characters that don't have enough substance to be placed anywhere else. Like a drabble-series, I guess. Consider them the compost pile, or table scraps of my hard drive. Most of them are inspired by lyrics or a particular quote. Enjoy.

Oh, snap. I almost forgot! **I do not own Samurai Champloo or any of its characters. Likewise, I do not own any of the lyrics or quotes used unless otherwise marked. Let this be the disclaimer for every subsequent chapter I upload because I do not always write an author's note.**

Please feel free – actually, feel **encouraged** to correct me if I credit the wrong person for a particular quote, as they can be harder to track down than song lyrics.

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"**A cigarette…so I take her to the can." – Wrong Way by Sublime

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**

Fuu rolled her eyes and sighed as she plopped her head down onto her hand. _Here we go again…_ she thought dryly, listening to Mugen. They'd separated to find any form of potential work in return for payment or a place to stay. Hell, even some tea would do. Fuu had returned with a few meager sticks of dumplings, Jin had brandished a tiny handful of ryo, and Mugen…

She ground her empty fist into the dirt angrily, trying to tune him out over the roar of their campfire. Stupid Mugen.

"So get this." he told Jin, arms flailing excitedly to add emphasis to his words. "Are ya listenin' to me, Four-Eyes?"

Jin merely grunted, not too interested since it didn't involve his acquisition of food, shelter, or money.

"She was a total babe, I'm tellin' ya." his eyes grew wider in his enthusiasm. "A cigarette pressed between her lips." he put his fingers up to his mouth to imitate the woman's tempting pout. "But I'm starin' at her tits." he cupped imaginary knockers. Fuu's eye twitched at the unrealistic size he was portraying.

Jin sighed. _It's the wrong way…_

"Yeah?" Fuu snapped. "And _then_ what happened?" she was only being sarcastic, her tone implying for Mugen to shut the hell up already.

But being Mugen, he turned to her and gave her a wicked smirk before shrugging easily and leaning back onto his arms. "Strong if I can…"

Her heart soared – did that mean he didn't do what she thought he did?

"…But I am only a man."

Her expression was deadpan as her head slipped off her hand.

"So I took her to the can." he finished, his smirk returning at the memory of having such a woman pressed against the bathroom wall.

"It's the wrong way…," Jin voiced his previous thoughts with a disappointed shake of his head.


	2. Bad Girlfriend

**Just Another Day in the Life

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"**She likes to pull my hair…"/ "Does it make her wrong…" – Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman

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"There's something unusual about Fuu…" Jin suddenly said, his voice low and his eyes averted. The girl in question was currently several yards away, wading into the creek parallel to their campsite.

Mugen lifted his head from where it rested on top of his arms, too drained to actually sit up. "Hm?"

"She's been acting differently," he continued.

"Whaddya mean different?" he eased onto his back and stared at the stars above him. Damn, he thought they were being quiet, but of course the ronin's ears were sharp as ever…even when he appeared to be in a deep slumber.

"She's promiscuous."

"…She's _wha?_"

Jin resisted the roll of his eyes. "She's…_loose_." he tried to find a simple enough word for his comrade to comprehend.

"Oh…" Mugen nodded in understanding. "You mean she's acting like a whore."

Jin's eyebrow twitched. "I would not put it so drastically."

"_I_ would…" he replied vaguely, a secret smirk forming on his lips. It was all Mugen's fault, too. He'd corrupted the innocent little girl…well _not-so_-innocent now.

_She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth…_ he thought wryly, choosing wisely not to voice this fact. Instead, he shrugged. "Eh…I wouldn't get too worked up about it." he told the ronin. "I mean, does it make her wrong to have the time of her life?"

Jin narrowed his eyes suspiciously, a scowl covering his usually impassive features.


	3. Tap That

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Okay, so my OCD is tingling like Spiderman's freaking Spider-senses because I didn't use the lyrics in the order that they appear in the song. They jump around. A lot. I like to be able to listen to a song during a song-fic where the lyrics are used and still be able to follow along. But I don't really suggest that with this one because you'll be skipping around so much, people will think your iPod is busted. I just figured I'd give you a fair warning. This one was probably the most fun to write, though, in spite of myself. Also, I figured since some of the things I have Mugen and Fuu say can be considered OOC (because they are the lyrics, they're pretty easy to spot), I decided to put them in italics. Enjoy.

PS: another fair warning, this chapter gets pretty heated…but not _too_ heated =3

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"**Tap That" by Erin McCauley

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**

"_Don't play dumb, you know you wanted to_." Mugen looked down at her, hands on her slender hips. They were submerged under the hot-spring's surface, and instantly her flesh broke out in goosebumps from his cold fingers.

"_I'm the boss, keep that in your head_." She replied, eyes hooded to try and take the attention away from her burning cheeks.

He smirked at her courage. No bitch talked to him like that unless they wanted to pay the consequences. The steep, steep consequences. "_I'ma teach you how to scream my name_," he breathed into her ear, making her bristle and tear away from his hands. "_You're never gonna get away from me._"

She spun around and gave him a bold look. "_Yeah, I kinda like that_." Another blush blossomed across her face and she bit her lip, shocked at how daring the saké was making her.

She was sick of taking Mugen's taunts (he was already drunk at the time, to be fair) about what a lightweight she was. So to shut him up, she went shot for shot with him in the restaurant attached to their inn. It was easily the biggest mistake of her young life. By the third one, she could already feel her face warming and a pleasant haze wash over her. She'd stolen away to the hot-spring out back in order to sober up a little bit. But, of course, Mugen had followed her, drunk as a skunk and looking for Fuu to make good on the shameless flirting she was doing. "_Come on over here and play with me…let me be your dirty fantasy_."

He waded through the delectably hot waters and stood in front of her, peering down his nose and into her big brown eyes. Even though he was only 4 years her senior, she still looked so young and innocent parked in front of him like that. He wanted to do something about it. He wanted to dirty her up a bit. It wasn't everyday he had that opportunity with a samurai's daughter – ronin or not, he wasn't into details.

"_Show me I'm the one and only –_"

"_I'ma show you something new, baby._" He interrupted, brushing his rough hand against the delicate flesh of her face. Her round, youthful face. "_Then we can do what you really wanna do_."

She placed a hand on the wrist near her mouth, tasting its pulse. "_I'm the boss, keep that in your head_." She repeated, feeling the need to reiterate that fact. This was Mugen – gentle was not in his regular vocabulary, nor in his regular practice. "_Maybe we can do something that sometimes leads to other things…?_"

"_Yeah._" He grunted, dropping the hand on her cheek in order to grab her hand and lead her back to the water's edge. "_I kinda want that._" He plopped down on the ledge in front of her.

"_Show me all about that._" She insisted.

Mugen reached under the water and hooked his arms underneath her knees, dragging her until she sat astride him. "_Show me you got what it takes to come with me and do it tonight_." He countered.

Her heart was pounding, but she remembered his taunts back in the restaurant and found her nerve again. She wouldn't let him win. She couldn't. "_I'ma teach __**you**__ how to scream __**my**__ name._"

Mugen cocked a brow suggestively, and before Fuu knew what was happening, his mouth was covering hers in a rough and demanding kiss.

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**A/N: **I'm sorry for leaving you hanging like that. But I had to end it there because I would like to keep this as a T rating. Mind you, this is a high T rating, but I don't think it's really M material just yet. Use your imagination if you want more – does Fuu suddenly come to her senses and run away, or does Mugen complete his mission of dirtying her up a bit? (Hint: he totally does…c'mon it's _Mugen_) =3

Oh, and I couldn't take my Spider-senses screeching at me anymore, so I went back and edited this thing so that it followed the order of the damn song. I'm happy and my Spider-senses have since retreated back into the deep recesses of my subconscious.


	4. Living is a Problem

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** I guess you could say this one takes place during the _Evanescent Encounters_, where Mugen and Jin are practically comatose in recovery. It's short and to the point, but doesn't feel complete to me.

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"**I met God…" – Living is a Problem Because Everything Dies by Biffy Clyro

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**

"What happened…to you…?" Jin questioned, his voice still weak. He didn't even have the strength to turn his head to face Mugen as he responded.

The pirate smirked with a cynical grunt as he collapsed face-down on the floor next to him. "Let's just say…," he took in a hoarse breath and flipped over. "I met God…but he had nothing to say to me…"

Jin closed his eyes in understanding. "I imagine I will meet a similar fate …"

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**A/N:** I'm don't fare especially well with heavy conversations…even in real life. But this doesn't feel complete to me. Maybe I'll come back and add some to more to this chapter later on. Let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate some feedback on this chapter in particular because I feel like it definitely has more potential than this weak sparsely-lined thing.


	5. JEALOUSY

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Another short one. This one was actually for the word prompt of JEALOUSY. It's not really my favorite one. In fact, for such a powerful word, the writing is pretty weak. But it's all I could think of during the 3 minute time limit I set for myself.

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**Word Prompts – JEALOUSY**

As they walk, she spots the way one whore meets Mugen's eyes. He ignores her, averting his eyes to leer at some other woman, but Fuu cannot take her eyes off the first woman. She can't help but stare at her awe-inspiring beauty and the way she watches Mugen with extreme longing. Fuu knows she's just a whore, nothing more. Nothing to be envied, yet she can't help but do just that. Because last night, Fuu knew, she was with Mugen in a way she herself could only ever hope to be.


	6. Intelligence without Ambition

**Just Another Day in the Life

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**Quotes – "Intelligence without ambition…" – Salvador Dalí

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**

"And just what the hell are we s'posed to do about _this_?" Mugen seethed, throwing his arms up in the air and glaring down at the meditating Jin. "How the _fuck_ did we get _robbed_ anyways, dumbass? And there ain't no village around for _miles_…so what are we supposed to do!"

"Hm…," Jin mumbled, seemingly unaffected by this news. He didn't open his eyes as he replied. "Perhaps…we should find a village…"

Mugen stood, jaw to the ground. "Is that your final answer, Four-Eyes?" he scoffed. "Fuck, _I_ coulda toldja _that_!"

"Then why come to me?" he questioned coolly.

Mugen narrowed his eyes and flexed his fists to keep from slamming his foot into the other mans' head. "Ain't you the smart one?"

"Hm…"

"Well, fuck you, Four-Eyes," he growled, spinning abruptly and stomping off. "_I'm_ figurin' this mess out by _myself_ – see who's the _smart_ one after _that_!"

Jin opened an eye slightly and watched his comrade storm off, blowing a strand of hair from his vision lazily. "Intelligence, without ambition, is a bird without wings…"

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**A/N:** 11/7/10 EDIT: Thank you Quote Master for telling me where the quote came from!


	7. He Who Angers You

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Okay, I needed to step up my game, so here's a longer update for my loyal readers. I love you guys that much. And I feel like the person who said this quote was Eleanor Roosevelt, but again, I could be wrong. Feel free to correct me. Feel compelled to correct me, actually. Educate my dumbass ;)

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**Quotes – "He who angers you…" - Eleanor Roosevelt

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**

Fuu rolled her eyes and plopped her head on her hand exasperatedly. It was going to be one of _those_ nights again. It had started out well enough – traveling without incident during the sunlight, and settling by the creek once it started getting dark out. But then Jin and Mugen went fishing while Fuu had ventured into the forest to scrounge up some firewood. And when she came back, the two were standing an inch away from each other – swords screeching as they shoved against one another. Instantly, Fuu had dropped the firewood and flung a shoe at one of them. As luck would have it, she hit Mugen. But she could've predicted that one…

And here they all were – sitting around the campfire, secretly salivating over the not-yet-dead crab that had yet to be claimed. Apparently, Jin had seen it first, mentioned it to Mugen, who then proceeded to dive into the water and chase after it. He had proven his hard work by shoving his bitten and throbbing digits into Fuu's face. Both men were willing to kill each other for the rights to eat a crab. Fuu sighed and rolled her eyes as their debate continued.

Mugen, frustrated beyond all belief, kept reminding Jin that since it was _he_ who'd endured the struggle and carried the battle scars, the fucking crab was his. Jin would calmly retort that Mugen's actions were dishonorable and that he'd blatantly seen it first. Had Mugen _asked_ if he could have the crab, Jin would have gladly let him have it. But he'd just dove into the water and stolen the crab; which Jin had to punish him for.

"You can _try_." Mugen snarled, reaching at his side for his sword. After a moment, he discovered that it wasn't there.

Fuu had taken both their weapons during the beginning of their debate in the hopes that they would settle things like _men_. But after twenty minutes of this nonsense, she was willing to let them just kill each other and have the crab for herself.

"Can't you guys _both_ be honorable and give the _lady_ the crab?" she batted her lashes beatifically, only to be met with a cold look from Jin and an incredulous "_Say wha_?" from Mugen. She ground her fist into her head, straining for another way to diffuse the situation. Suddenly, she remembered something her mother once told her when she was a little girl. "_He who angers you, conquers you!_"

The campfire fell deathly silent for a moment and Fuu's heart skipped a beat. Did she finally do it? Did she finally dissipate their bloodlust?

"You tellin' me you think Four-Eyes wins just 'cause he pissed me off?" Mugen was the first to shoot to his feet.

Jin nodded, silently irked. "Indeed, are you implying that I am bested by the grief this dunce causes me?"

Fuu tugged at her hair and released a frustrated groan. She reached for the crab, wary of its claws, and stomped back toward the creek.

"Hey, wait a second, Fuu!" Mugen clambered after her, Jin hot on his heels. "What're you doin' with that?"

"Getting rid of a headache!" she declared, arching her arm back and catapulting it forward. The crab soared through the air as though in slow motion – Mugen, Jin, and Fuu's mouths all agape and staring. Once the crustacean broke through the surface and the splash indicated where it had landed, a silence descended upon the trio.

"Well, it's fair game now…" Mugen smirked, cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders.

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**A/N:** This one is one of my personal favorites simply because it reminds me of the scene in _Bogus Booty_ (my favorite episode) where Mugen and Fuu make fun of Jin for being unable to fish, and then they find that fat sack of gold. This dialogue is my personal favorite:

**Mugen**: We hit the potjack!

**Fuu**: That's jackpot!

**Mugen**: All I know is we're filthy bitch!

**Fuu**: Filthy _rich_!

**Jin**: I hope you're doing that on purpose…

**All: **_BANZAI!_


	8. BRAID

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Another word prompt. I guess you could classify this as fluff…even though there are no apparent rainbows, unicorns, and/or friendly woodland creatures. Perhaps if you squint?

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**Word Prompts – BRAID**

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"Ugh…damnit…" Fuu sighed, shaking her wet hair out again.

"May I question what exactly you are trying to do?" Jin's tone was as close to a "What the fuck?" as Fuu was ever going to get out of him.

"I'm trying to braid my hair." she explained, peering down at her reflection in the creek.

For the past half hour, she'd been dunking her head under the water to wet and re-wet her tresses. Then, she'd tangle her fingers within the dark mass, groan and sigh like the world was against her, before starting all over again. To say the least, it was amusing the first few times. But now it was just plain pathetic.

"Okami-san had the greatest hair. When I asked her how she got her curls so perfect, she said she just braided her hair after a bath and let it loose when it was dry."

"So you're attempting to…_curl_ your hair?"

She nodded with a bright smile, then winced when she snagged her finger. "It's not as easy as it looks, though." she laughed at herself. "I probably look like a drowned rat, but just you wait – I'll get it eventually." her voice was determined. "And when I do, I'll be _just_ as sexy as Okami-san."

"_Ch_." Mugen scoffed from his place near the fire. "Fat chance, girly. You're _never_ gonna get it."

Fuu frowned and dunked her head into the water again, glaring at him upside down. "Like _you_ would know?"

Upside-down Mugen gave her a smug look before she turned right-side up again. "Actually, I do."

Fuu quirked her head as she wrung her hair of any excess water. "_You_ know how to braid hair?" her tone was dubious.

Mugen approached her with a defiant look in his eye. "I'm not as dumb as I look, girly." he plopped down behind her and grabbed her wet tresses. "I used to braid strands of milkweed on Ryukyu to make rope…can't be too different for hair."

Fuu grinned. "Would you mind teaching me?"

He grunted his consent and began tugging gently on her hair.

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The next morning Fuu was up bright and early, dashing over to the creek to use it as a mirror. She tore the piece of her obi they'd used as a tie from her hair and shook it out. Her chocolate brown locks fell onto her shoulders gracefully, gentle waves styling them. She released an excitedly shrill – "_YYYYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS!_" – and dashed back over to the smoldered campfire. Her outburst had roused both her bodyguards, and they took in the sight of her hair appreciatively.

"I cannot deny that you have finally proven your usefulness." Jin had something akin to a wry smile on his face as he addressed Mugen.

Mugen merely grunted indifferently, then went stiff as a board when Fuu nearly tackled him to the ground again.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" her smile practically graced both ears and Mugen unceremoniously shoved her off.

"Yeah, whatever." he dismissed. "Don't mention it."

"Aw, Mugen…"

He held up a hand. "Really." he was serious. "_Don't_ mention it."

Fuu giggled but pressed a finger to her lips anyway. "It'll be our little secret."

"…I'm _right_ here…," Jin declared incredulously.

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**A/N:** _Okami-san_ is a title I saw being used in one of the manga. It's like an inn-keeper. And with that, I'm off to go wash this sweet taste out of my mouth.


	9. The Scars Remind Us

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Hold onto your hats, folks, we're about to go on an adventure – to the deep, deplorable, recesses of Mugen's subconscious! This was the first thing I thought of when I heard this quote, so I wrote about it. For the record, this drabble requires lots of humoring, especially towards me. I wanted to show a different side to Mugen, since I normally portray the poor bastard as an incorrigible womanizer or rotten dirtbag (believe it or not, he's my favorite character). So I suppose this is my first attempt at pensive Mugen. There's a voice in the back of my head that's telling me this will turn out angsty…*sigh* I guess we'll see…

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"**And our scars remind us that the past is real." – Scars-Papa Roach

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**

It was nearly ten years ago, he recalled.

Her soft fingertips delicately traced the expanse of the scar that marred his chest. She asked him how he got it. He lied and told her he didn't remember. A scar is a scar is a scar is a scar, he'd told her. She accepted this, and rolled over to put her clothes back on. She was either dumber than he thought, or really didn't care as much as he thought. Either way, he was grateful she didn't press the issue.

She turned around when she finished tying her obi, shocked to see him still naked and laying in the futon. He lied again, telling her she had wiped him out. She grinned happily and went on her merry way, leaving Mugen alone to ruminate.

Truthfully, he could never forget how he received each scar on his body, or who had given it to him. He didn't want to forget, either. It wasn't just puckered flesh or a darkened streak to him. Each and every mark on his body was a memory. Each and every mark on his body was a secret to his past. It was easy to tell her that he had lost track of the source of the scars, but that was simply not the case.

The scar that her fingers had trekked was the first one Ryukyu had bestowed upon him. It would be the catalyst that the rest would eventually follow. It was nearly ten years ago. He was still just a child – if any of the demons raised on Ryukyu could honestly be called children. He saw another boy his age being bullied, and in his naivety, had decided to intervene. He had always been tall for his age, if a bit gangly, so intimidation was never very difficult. The gang of older boys dispersed quickly enough – he only had to knock a few teeth out of one of the kid's jaws before the rest realized he meant business. He then turned to the victim to help him up, when it happened. He pulled a rusted tanto – the stolen object the gang was after – and slashed at Mugen. He nearly died of tetanus after that, which is why the current scar is so puckered – it never healed properly.

He didn't look at the scar in malice, though, as would be expected. He looked upon it in an almost fond sort of fashion. If it weren't for that incident, Mugen would have never come to the realization that people are inherently rotten, ungrateful, and selfish creatures. He himself was not exempt, and he made no effort to prove anyone different. Life was just too short to be lived for someone else, so he didn't bother.

He recalled the fascinated look in her eye when she'd first settled on his naked flesh. He'd become so accustomed to it, that it didn't even really faze him anymore. Sometimes, he would wonder what runs through their minds when they first see them. What their initial thought must be. His only logical guess was first, "Oh, my God!" followed by, "How did he get all those?" and finally, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all." Sure, if anyone had ever run away after seeing all his scars, he'd get pissed. But really, he couldn't blame them. Scars are typically looked at in a negative light. You didn't get them unless you were either: A. a bad person, B. deserving of some form of punishment, or C. dangerous. Mugen just happened to fit the bill on all of the above.

Nothing good could ever come from revealing the history behind each scar. That would only warrant pity, which was something Mugen neither wanted nor deserved. There was one such incident that stuck with him all these months. Bored of the same identical-looking women that all brothels had, he once demanded a cathouse's least popular lady. Considering that he was a well-paying customer and absolutely terrifying to the little old man who ran the place, Mugen's demands were swiftly met. No questions asked. The woman arrived a few short minutes later, and Mugen found himself extremely confused. For one thing, the whore could hardly be called a woman – she couldn't have even been called a teenager; and she wasn't at all bad-looking. Calling her beautiful or sexy would be going too far, but that was because she hadn't really grown into her features yet. He began to think that she was the least popular because it was obvious that she was far too young to be in a place like that.

But when she removed her clothes, Mugen realized he was dead wrong. Her tiny body had more mutilations than his own. They overwhelmed her pale flesh, even distracting someone so accustomed to such disfigurements. They weren't just regular scars, either. Mugen could be called expert of few things, but this was one of his fortes. There were burn marks, cut marks, and it even looked like something had been sewn underneath her skin at one point. Had Mugen a heart, it'd be wrenching in pity of this small girl. But as it were, he merely stood up and removed his own shirt in place of words. The girl absorbed the sight and opened her mouth to suck in a few haggard breaths, before falling to her knees in a sob.

He didn't ask her about them because she didn't ask him about his. Since then, not another lay had become so vibrant a memory as that one. He knew what it took to scar flesh like that – to the point where it engulfs – and began to grow angry. Mugen knew he was a wretch. He was born a wretch, lived like a wretch, and would die a wretch. He could not say that he didn't deserve every single one of the scars on his body without lying. But that girl was barely even Fuu's age. And none of those scars were fresh. He doubted the brothel would damage their goods so severely, even if she was garnering the least money. No, this girl's secrets and memories were made before she came to the brothel.

Maybe her father was punishing her for not being the son he needed. Maybe her mother was trying to remind her who was the true beauty of the house. Maybe she was given to a sadistic daimyo to settle her family's debt. Mugen didn't know and it was pissing him off. When he was with a woman, he didn't want to think about anything except the task at hand. But with this girl, this girl who was blatantly too young to be doing such things with a man like himself, he found that he could concentrate on nothing except her scars.

But he refused to ask her. It wasn't his problem to deal with – they weren't his memories to battle, they weren't his secrets to keep.

He had his own scars to manage.

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**A/N:** However unrealistic you thought that was, just remember I warned you about the lots of humoring that would be required of you in the beginning. As for who the "she" is (well, the scarred prostitute is obviously an OC) in this fic, I'll leave that up to you. Fuu? Yatsuha? Kohza? Sarah? Another random prostitute? That is all up to you, my friend. On a side note, I had "Cover Me" by Mae on repeat while writing this…make of that what you will.


	10. The Heart of a Child

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** I'm not entirely sure where I got the prompt for this one. If you recognize it, please let me know so I can give credit. I really am a horrible person – I forget to insert page breaks before uploading, forcing ffdotnet to inadvertently spam the hell out of my subscribers, and then I don't even have enough common sense to jot down where I get my prompts/quotes. Oi…what am I gonna do with myself?

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**Samurai Champloo – "Heart of a child" prompt

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**

"What about the one in the pink?"

"Hmm…I dunno. She looks like she's twelve."

"So that's a no?"

"Nah, that's a make-sure-her-daddy-ain't-around-before-I-stick-my-tongue-down-her-throat!" The pair erupted with laughter and Mugen scowled. He knew Jin could hear them too, the bastard. He was just pretending not to. And there sat Fuu, shoveling food into her mouth. Completely oblivious. Dumbass.

"She's going for the shrimp tempura!"

"Look at her pretty little lips! I'd sure love to find out what lips like those could do to a man."

"I hear ya!"

More drunken laughter.

"Fuu, how 'bout you eat like a fuckin' human for once, huh?" Mugen snapped at the girl, who gave him a curious look in return.

"Screw you, Mugen." She snapped. "This is the first decent meal I've had in a long time and I plan to eat until I explode."

"Why? Ya plan on hibernatin' later?"

"Make fun all you want." She stuck her nose in the air. "All I know is, I'm going home satisfied."

"_Yeah_, baby!"

Fuu's eyebrows rose at the loud exclamation. Her eyes sought out the source, as did every other pair in the restaurant, until they settled on a highly intoxicated man at the bar. He was staring directly at Fuu, who in turn blushed and quickly returned to her food.

"Weirdo…" she mumbled, taking another bite of the shrimp.

"Yeah, take it all!" cried the heckler.

"He'll stop if you quit shovelin' food into that black hole you call a mouth."

Fuu ignored him. "Worry about yourself, Mugen. I don't need your help."

"Suit yourself…" he rolled his eyes. "But it's gettin' pretty fuckin' annoying."

"So do something about it."

"Hey, baby!" the heckler beckoned, waving at Fuu. She ignored him, proceeding onto the dumplings.

"He's callin' you."

"No he's not." Fuu insisted. "He must be waving at that woman at the table next to us."

"Fuu, that's an old lady…"

"Is it?" she turned. "Oh, shoot. I only caught a glimpse out of my peripheral."

"Baby! I'm calling you, baby!"

"If I ignore him, he will go away." She nodded resolutely, returning to her dinner.

"You have the heart of a child…" Jin noted, speaking for the first time that night. Fuu arched a brow at him, so he clarified. "You are naïve."

Mugen released a bark of laughter and she scowled at him.

"Screw the both of you!"

"Hey, baby, why you ignorin' me?"

She jumped. The heckler had moved from the bar to her side.

"Excuse me?"

"Let's go have some fun." He grabbed her hand. "You can cook me some of that food you love so much."

"Let go of me!" she tossed Mugen a frantic look.

The pirate shrugged. "You don't need my help, remember? I was told to worry about myself." He popped one of her dumplings into his mouth to exemplify this.

She turned to Jin, who appeared engrossed with a painting on the wall.

"Let's go, bitch!" the man gave a hard tug, causing Fuu to crash to the floor. The heckler and few other people, including Mugen, began laughing.

Fuu sat up and grasped her elbow, which was red with blood from her harsh landing. Tears brimmed her big, doe eyes from pain or embarrassment, Mugen was unsure. Probably both. She turned those pleading chocolate orbs his way, and in an instant he was on his feet with his sword drawn. Behind him, Jin equally stood, though his palm rested on his hilt.

"Alright, buddy." Mugen growled. "That's enough."

"Like hell it is." The heckler laughed, placing his foot on the crown of Fuu's head. The ex-waitress began to wail louder, making Mugen flinch.

"Last chance before I hack that foot off."

The heckler's buddy, clearly the more sober of the duo, quickly latched onto his shoulders and hauled him away. He insisted that the girl didn't even have big enough boobs and that he was just wasting his time, when he began to resist. After a moment, the owner of the restaurant appeared in order to kick out the 5 hell-raisers.

Fuu dried her eyes on the sleeve of her kimono and looked up at her two bodyguards. "Thanks, you guys."

"How is your elbow?" Jin questioned after nodding his curt "you're welcome."

Fuu rolled her sleeve back for them to inspect, since she couldn't get a proper angle on it.

"That'll be one nasty scab." Mugen noted. "But you'll live."

She sniffled away her last remaining tears and nodded.

"Wait…is _that_ why you were cryin'?" Mugen suddenly turned to her. "'Cause you scraped your _elbow_?"

Fuu threw her nose in the air indignantly. "It hurt!"

* * *

**A/N:** Again, a pretty weak ending. And I dove headfirst into my most hated trope: whiny, baby, bitchy Fuu. Ugh. Crying after scraping her elbow? Seriously? No, really – What am I gonna do with myself?


	11. Uncategorized

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Okay, so originally this was going to be a super fluff piece…but then I went back and read it and almost vomited with how sickeningly sweet it was. Seriously, the thing was a hot mess if I've ever seen one. So I sort of just deleted everything I didn't like (including the fluffy lyrics…which is basically the point of the scene). But anyway, the thing could still stand even though I stripped away everything but its backbone. So here it is. Enjoy (if you can…)

* * *

She squeezed him tighter around his torso as the mob passed the alley in which they had stolen away. Her face was buried in his shirt and he could feel her hot tears seeping through the cotton. He arched a brow confusedly at the top of her head, fiddling with her fallen hairpieces between his fingers. She was trembling and he wasn't sure if it was because of the sobbing or the fear.

Unsure of himself, he placed the hand not wielding his sword on top of her head in a comforting gesture. He'd seen a woman do it to her daughter once and figured it was the right thing to do now.

"You gotta keep quiet if you don't want them to find us." He told her, voice low. It was a lie, of course – Jin had led the mob in the complete opposite direction of their camp. Mugen just didn't want her to cry anymore.

"Why are people so mean, Mugen?" she demanded of him, lifting her face and exposing her watery doe-eyes. Her surprisingly angular chin pressed against his chest painfully as she gripped his mid-section tighter.

He was tempted to laugh. "You're askin' the wrong guy, girly." He took his hand back to return her hairpieces to her. "This one got stepped on, so one of the beads broke…"

She bit her lip to contain her tears, but her eyes filled up anyway. Her face dug into his chest again and Mugen sighed. He hated when she cried. It was the only time he was completely powerless. It was the only time he felt completely useless.

"I've never been so scared before." He felt her mouth move against his skin. "I honestly thought I was going to die."

"Oh, come on!"

She flinched against his volume.

"Don't I always save your ass?"

She didn't respond.

"Huh, brat?" he demanded. "Answer me!"

She lifted her face again and sniffled. "Yes." She replied, voice quiet and mouse-like.

"So what the hell're you sayin', tellin' me that you were gonna die back there?"

She shrugged her tiny shoulders. "I panicked."

"Panic, my ass." He snapped. "Panicking's for pussies. And are you a pussy, Fuu?"

She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow, but did nothing else.

"Are ya, Fuu?"

She buried her face again. "I am when you're not around!" her words were muffled against his chest, but he managed to hear them loud and clear.

He was expecting a simple, "NO!" so that answer sort of threw him for a moment. "Well…I ain't goin' nowhere." He told her resolutely, deciding that was a sufficient reply. "I still got that stupid promise to fulfill and shit." He grabbed her arms in an attempt to unlatch her from him.

"Stop it!" she hissed and retracted her arms on her own, shielding them behind her back.

Mugen narrowed his eyes at her. "Let me see your arms."

"They're fine." She bit. "It's nothing. Just bruised."

He sighed. "Don't make me wrestle them out from behind ya."

She glared at him, a silent challenge and he shrugged. Replacing his sword, he took a few steps forward and towered over her. She flinched and closed her eyes.

"Fine!" she conceded, relaxing her shoulders and slowly bringing her arms in front of her.

Mugen took one look at the purple flesh, the red burns, the brown scratches and scowled. "That ain't nothin', Fuu!"

"I thought you'd get mad."

"You were right!"

"Calm down, most of it was my fault."

"Bullshit! How?"

She shrugged. "I fell…"

"You're a terrible liar, girly." He drew his sword again, panting like a bull at the charge. "Which one was it?"

"…You already killed him."

He paused. "Oh…" he grabbed her hand. "See what a great bodyguard I am, killin' the fucks who hurt you without even realizin'?"

Fuu smiled. "We should go find Jin."

"What the hell do you think I'm doin'?"

* * *

**A/N:** Meh. Definitely not my favorite. Mugen is OOC. But this was originally a fluff piece, so please let that weak explanation suffice and be enough to convince you to put down the torches and pitchforks. The song that was paired with this was called "Inevitable" by Anberlin. The lyrics were "I wanna be your last first kiss" so you can imagine how fluffy this chapter would have been. I intend to use these lyrics in a later chapter, so you MuFuu shippers don't have to worry ;)


	12. Scheming

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Okay, so this plotbunny has been done a lot, apparently, but I think it's just too hilarious not to be done…AGAIN. There may be a smidge of OOC-ness going on, but I think – given the circumstances and the desperation of the situation – you will be able to forgive me. Drastic measures and all that…

Ah, hell, just keep telling yourself this is a crack!fic and it'll make it easier to swallow ;)

Also, **this particular chapter will be rated M **simply for Mugen's unshakable potty-mouth.

* * *

Fuu gave Jin a sidelong glance as they stood in front of the vendor. When she was certain Mugen was out of earshot, she accosted the ronin at her side.

"Something has to be done about…_this_."

Jin closed his eyes and gave a weary sigh. "Indeed." He silently placed a finger to the vendor's table, indicating without a word what he wished to purchase.

"You know this won't end well…" Fuu warned, watching as Jin paid the man.

"I'm aware." He nodded, discreetly sliding the object into his sleeve and returning their shared wallet to Fuu. "But this is a situation that requires immediate attention. I will help you in regards to necessary force, but it will be up to you to lure him to the spot I indicated earlier."

Fuu nodded. "It's for his own good…right?"

Jin nodded, just as Mugen flailed his arms to catch their attention from down the road. "Hey, this guy's sellin' pocket-sized ukiyo-e paintings! Fuu, gimme some money, quick!"

Jin pinched the bridge of his nose, reminding himself that within his sleeve was the key to making the rest of their journey just that much more bearable. That, and the secret to Mugen's misery…even if it was only temporary. Jin could still allow himself such a tiny pleasure, couldn't he?

With those thoughts floating around his mind, he released his nose and joined the other two – Fuu leaping to reclaim the wallet that Mugen was dangling over her head. Jin felt a migraine coming on.

* * *

The sun was just beginning to set and the trio made their way back to their campsite. Jin had successfully started the fire after Mugen and Fuu had returned with the sticks. Now the three sat in silence – bellies full and sleep calling their names. But, as he caught the subtle look from Fuu, he realized that sleep would be as distant as the moon tonight. He gave her a nod, one so discreet that she would have missed it were she not looking for it. The two players were ready. All that was left was to set the plan in motion.

With a deep inhale, Jin stretched his arms out in front of him. It was an exaggeration, but they could not afford the pirate to miss any tip-offs.

"Sleeping already, ya lazy bastard?"

He set the other man with a steely gaze as he propped himself against the trunk of a nearby tree, swords in his lap. So far, so good. He gave Fuu one last look, one that reminded her of everything he'd already told her – neither of them could afford to have her screw up. Mugen was dense, but even a wild animal knew better than to fall for the same trickery twice. If Fuu didn't complete her part of their little "mission," they would never get another chance. With that, he slowly closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

He heard Fuu sigh. "You're no fun, Jin…"

Technically, the waitress had been fulfilling her part of the "mission" all day. Ever since they concocted the feeble plot, actually. She had been baiting the pirate all day, flirting rather shamelessly at Jin's insistence. For their plan to work, they needed to give Mugen a reason to obey Fuu. And the only surefire way to make sure the pirate stayed in line was to bribe him with something he was unable to resist: sex. Sure, he felt sorry for poor Fuu, forcing her to be the sacrificial lamb. But it was for the greater good, he kept reminding himself. He was going against everything he stood for, making her do this, but it was for the greater good.

"I'm not sleepy at all…" she continued. "I could stay up all night long…if I only had something to keep me occupied, that is."

He was tempted to wince, but stifled the urge successfully enough. Half of Fuu's job was already done on the behalf of all the saké they had allowed Mugen to knock back during dinner. That should have been the first sign that something was up, but as usual, the pirate's base needs clouded his instincts. How he managed to survive his first 19-years was a mystery. How he planned to survive another 19 was something Jin preferred not to ruminate.

"Do you think he's asleep yet?" came Fuu's whisper.

Mugen grunted, a none-too-interested sound. "S'only been a minute…no one falls asleep _that_ fast."

"I dunno…" Fuu tried her hardest to sound unconvinced as Jin sensed two pairs of eyes on himself. "He did have a couple shots of saké with you at the restaurant."

"Fuckin' lightweight. I tell him to go shot-for-shot with me, and he nearly faints after the third." Mugen snorted. "_You_ could prob'ly last longer than ol' featherweight over here."

Oh, Jin would enjoy this night. He would enjoy this night _very_ much.

Fuu stood up suddenly. "Come with me, Mugen."

"What? Why?" he demanded. "I just got comfy…"

"I need a drink – there's a river nearby, remember?"

"So? Why d'ya need me to go with you?"

Obtuse just as much as he was obstinate, Jin observed.

"Because…" Fuu faltered. "_Because_." She held Mugen's gaze for a long time.

"You're scared, ain't ya?" he finally guessed, making Jin roll his eyes beneath his lids. "Fine, girly. I'll protect ya from the fuckin' kappa, you baby."

Fuu resisted the urge to slap her forehead in frustration as Mugen finally got off his ass to join her. Was she bad at flirting or was Mugen honestly this thickheaded? She wasn't exactly sure which one she wanted to be true, something that frightened her more than it probably should have.

She eyed Jin even though his eyes were closed and wondered how he would be able to tell that they had left. They hadn't really discussed that part of the plan earlier, so she improvised.

"Why the hell're ya draggin' feet like that?"

She gave Mugen a coy little giggle. "Oh, am I? I'm sorry." There. Hopefully that would give Jin a good idea of how much time he had. She just prayed that his aim would still be good, given the waning sun. "Y'know…" she turned to Mugen as they came to the riverbank. "This river is probably pretty dangerous – with the rapids and all."

He gave her a suspicious look. "What're you tryin' to say? I ain't carryin' you in there."

"Mugen." She said his name like it was the answer he sought, sighing heavily when it didn't get through to him. "Are you playing hard-to-get with me?" She fought back bile, reminding herself that this was for the greater good.

"_Hard-to-get?_" Mugen almost laughed. "Ya sure you didn't have any saké at the restaurant, Fuu?"

She placed her tiny hand on his chest and took a step closer. "I'm sure." She breathed, brown eyes hooded.

Mugen's expression went from surprised to lecherous in a flash as the situation finally dawned on him. "Really, Fuu?" he questioned. "With _me?_"

She nodded, slowly advancing so that he was forced to backtrack. "I want a man who knows what he's doing. Don't make me beg, baby, because I will if I have to." _For the greater good. For the greater good. FOR THE GREATER GOOD!_ "So, what do you say…big boy?"

"Well, alright." He shrugged. "If you're s–"

Fuu gave his chest a hard shove, leaping into the river after him before he had time to resurface. "_Jin!_" she shouted, looking for the hidden ronin in the bushes surrounding them.

"_WHAT THE FUCK, FUU?_" Mugen broke the water's surface, sputtering. His hair mostly covered his eyes, but his fury was palpable. He stood and towered over his assailant, out for blood.

Fuu nervously reversed, wary gaze never leaving the advancing terror before her. "Jin!" she barked impatiently. What the hell was he waiting for!

"_Jin?_" Mugen paused and arched a brow. "What's he –"

Fuu watched as a flash of white flew through the air and clocked Mugen in the side of the head. His gray eyes rolled into the back of his lids and he started to collapse to the side. Fuu quickly caught him, the water making him just light enough for her to handle. A thick bar of soap drifted past and she recognized it as the blur Jin had used to knock Mugen out. She quickly snatched it up and wasted no time in scrubbing the pirate's hair.

A moment later, she sensed his presence on the riverbank behind her. "What the hell took you so long!" she demanded vehemently. "He was about to kill me!"

"A stationary target is a preferable one."

Fuu rolled her eyes as she hauled Mugen's unconscious body to the bank. "Hold onto him so the current doesn't drag him away."

Jin grasped the other man's shoulders and knelt behind him. "He will not be happy."

"He forfeit his happiness when he decided to become a walking stink-bomb." Fuu snapped, cupping her hands in the water and pouring it over his hair. "It was starting to get unbearable."

"Indeed it was."

"And he wasn't taking any of our hints to do it himself." She continued, reaching around the comatose pirate to remove his red haori and white shirt underneath. "So it was only a matter of time before we took matters into our own hands." She loaded the two fabrics with suds and rung them out, handing them to Jin to put on the grass to dry. Fuu stared at Mugen's exposed torso for a moment.

"Is there something amiss?"

She looked up at Jin in a dazed sort of way before shaking her head negatively. Lathering up her hands, she gave she bar of soap to Jin. "Hope he's not ticklish…" she commented wryly, scrubbing his skin roughly.

* * *

"How hard did you hit him, Jin?"

"…Perhaps I may have overestimated that thick skull of his."

"I'll say." Fuu snapped, giving Mugen another nudge with her toe. "He's been out cold since you beaned him in the noggin last night."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Wake him up!" she almost laughed at him – was that a serious question? "I'm not dragging his ass!"

Suddenly, Fuu heard a rustle and spotted Jin leap out of the way just in time for Mugen to kick her feet out from under her. She landed on her backside with a painful thud. "You jackass!"

Mugen stood up and spat on the ground, giving his temple a good rub. "Yeah? Well, there's more where that came from, assholes. Jus' you wait and see."

Jin had his palm set firmly on the hilt of his sword, but returned it to his side when Mugen made no move to brawl.

"Nah, kickin' your asses would be too easy." He smirked. "I'll make you sweat it out." He feinted toward Fuu, who flinched where she sat still on the ground. He grinned. "That's more like it." He tucked his hands behind his head and walked forward nonchalantly. "By the way." He turned just in time to spot Jin helping Fuu to her feet. "Next time you pull some shit like that, make sure it ain't gonna make me smell like a chick!"

Jin allowed himself a tiny smirk – so he'd noticed, did he?

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah, yeah I know. Smelly-Mugen takes an unsolicited bath has been done a million and one times already. But I just love the idea too much not to write my own version. And how about Jin – what a sneaky bastard, huh? Picking out women's soap on purpose! Ha! ;) But anyway, I hope that wasn't too confusing to follow for anyone. Basically, Jin pretended to fall asleep so Fuu could lead Mugen to the river with the promise of sex (or at least a steamy waterfront makeout session), but at the last second she pushes him into water and leaps in to keep him from drowning after Jin knocks him out using the (women's) soap he'd bought earlier. Hope it was as enjoyable to read as it was to write!


	13. It Reminds Me that I'm Alive

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** I know this one is definitely a prompt, I just can't remember where I got it from. In all honesty, there was this one day a while ago where I just Googled/LiveJournal-ed "writing prompts" and copy/pasted the ones that I liked into a document for later use. I didn't have enough common sense to jot down where I'd gotten them all. So I figure I'd just inform people that my prompts are not original (unless otherwise indicated) and that if you recognize one, then for the love of God TELL ME WHERE IT'S FROM!

With that out of the way, enjoy this angsty-ish little thing.

* * *

"**It reminds me that I'm alive."

* * *

**

Fuu sighed heavily and looked Mugen directly in the eye. Today, she just wasn't in the mood to argue, so she chose the pacifistic route. "I would really appreciate it if all three us went back to the campsite together tonight."

Mugen gave the girl a look stuck between surprise and confusion. He wasn't really sure which he felt more. "No way, girly. I finally got my own money and I'm gonna spend it where and _when_ I want."

Fuu sighed again and nodded sadly. "Fine." She ignored the suspicious stare she was receiving from Jin in order to return to her dumplings.

For a moment, there was no movement at their table, save for the up and down motion of Fuu's jaw. But then Mugen abruptly stood up.

"Screw this shit." He spat. "You're weirdin' me out – I'm outta here."

Fuu gave him a hurt look, but said nothing more. Jin watched the pirate depart the restaurant and turned to Fuu. His expression was impassive as ever, but she knew he was concerned.

"Would you like –"

"Don't worry about it, Jin." She interrupted, giving him a pathetic attempt at a smile. "I've just got a headache and didn't feel like arguing with him."

He nodded, knowing better than to pry.

* * *

The ronin stumbled upon Fuu in the middle of the forest when he had woken up to relieve himself. She was kneeling in front of a tree – praying. Jin concealed himself behind the trunk of another tree and listened as the tiny girl fought off tears.

"–I'm trying my hardest to fulfill that wish of yours." Her voice was a decibel above a whisper. "To find him and give him a good punch for you. But it's getting harder and harder scrape by with each passing day – I'm really beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to see him again."

It was at this point Jin realized he was not listening to a young girl pray for eternal youth, beauty, and riches; he was eavesdropping on someone's personal conversation with a lost loved one. Guilt clasped its cold hand around his gut and forced him to leave, the prayer beads around his wrist feeling heavier than they should have.

* * *

He wasn't sure how much time had passed before the vagrant meandered his way into view. Jin fixed him with a rather cold stare – he'd promised himself he would not fall asleep again until Fuu had returned safely, her chest lightened by her prayers.

"What's up _your_ ass?" Mugen stretched out in front of the newly lit fire like a cat.

Jin said nothing.

"Fine." The other man shrugged, rolling onto his back. "No skin off my nose, Four-Eyes. I just had the best night of my life and I ain't lettin' your stupid feelings ruin it."

Jin scoffed.

"What was that?" Had Mugen hackles, they would have been raised. "Hey, wait. Where's the girl?"

Jin fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Oh, you've finally noticed, have you?"

"Don't get cute with me, Four-Eyes." He snapped, sitting up. "She get kidnapped again or somethin'?"

The ronin shook his head negatively.

"So where's she at?"

"Praying."

"_Praying?_"

"I did not stutter." He hid the smirk that threatened to appear at the pirate's tense fists.

"Well, why is she prayin'?"

"One does not need a pressing issue to pray."

"Don't preach to me." He growled. "Did somethin' happen?"

Jin was a bit surprised with the other man's concern. "Not that I'm aware of. But why don't you ask her yourself? She's just beyond those bushes over there."

Mugen gave him a suspicious look as he got to his feet. "If you're settin' me up for somethin', I swear I'll skin you alive and throw you into a salt mine."

"That won't be necessary." Jin quipped, waiting until he disappeared to roll his eyes in exasperation.

* * *

Mugen found the girl kneeling with her forehead against the bark – fast asleep. He couldn't say it looked awfully comfortable, so he nudged her leg with his foot until she stirred.

"Hey." He said. "You fell asleep – what the hell're you doin' out here all by yourself?"

Fuu rubbed her eyes and looked up at him blearily. "Oh." She sounded disappointed. "It's just you."

"Just me?" he echoed, crouching down to get to her eye-level. "What the hell does _that_ mean?"

"So _now_ you decide to care?"

"_What?_" He was thoroughly confused. "What the hell are you even talking about? Care about _what_?"

Fuu snapped her head back to the tree and placed a tender hand upon its bark. She then stood up without another word, but Mugen would be damned if he let himself be dismissed like that.

"Oh, hell no Fuu." He grabbed her hand, just tight enough to make her stop. "You've been actin' weird all damn day. Spill it. Did somethin' happen?"

She gave him a curt nod. "Yes. Now please let me go."

"Like hell." He countered indignantly. "What happened?"

"Obviously nothing you can fix…even if you _did_ pretend to care."

He gave her two furrowed brows. "Would you quit bein' so shifty and just tell me what's wrong?" He dropped her hand. "Damn, I just had one 'a the greatest nights of my life and now it's gone to shit just because of some whiny bitch." He rolled his eyes, and then noticed the way Fuu's lip trembled. "Aw, dammit. Why're you cryin' _now_?"

"You're…you're such a _JACKASS!_"

Mugen set his jaw. "And _you're_ a crazy bitch!" He watched as Fuu spun around and stomped away, presumably back to camp so she could go cry on Jin's shoulder because Mugen had made her cry again. Whatever. Her crazy girl-feelings were none of his problem anyway.

He waited a little while before he headed back, too, surprised to see only Jin staring back at him with that stupid look on his face.

"Where'd she go?"

Jin shrugged. "She never returned, though I cannot blame her."

"Save it, Four-Eyes." He held up a hand. "It ain't my problem."

"She seems to be very upset."

"_Hana yori dango_* or some shit, right?" he turned to Jin, who stared quizzically up at him.

"I do not see how that applies."

"She needs to quit bein' such a damn baby and suck it up. She's never gonna make it if she keeps gettin' upset over stupid shit like this."

"You know what has her so upset, then?" Jin quirked an eyebrow.

"No." he rolled his eyes. "She prob'ly just saw some stupid hair pins that she couldn't afford or something." He paused. "What's with that look?"

"You greatly misunderstand our comrade." Jin observed. "I overheard a snippet of her prayers and have reason to believe that tonight is the anniversary of her mother's death."

"…Aw, fuck me."

* * *

Mugen found her sitting in the grass with her knees against her chest, staring at the moon. He suddenly felt like he was watching something he should not have been, and therefore made a note to approach noisily. He heard her sigh, but she made no move to flee.

"Um…so…" he paused next to her, feeling unsure of whether he should sit down as well.

"Why do you spend so much money on women all the time?"

Were the question a sentient being, Mugen believed it would have punched him in the gut.

"Are brothels all you care about in life?"

"I…"

"What sort of meaning can your life have if that's all you do with it?"

"It –"

"I just can't wrap my head around the allure of meaningless sex."

Tired of being talked _at_, Mugen plopped onto the ground next to Fuu and released a loud growl of frustration.

"Are you content with knowing that the woman you're with doesn't even –"

"Would you shut up, already?"

Fuu stared into Mugen's equally-as-surprised eyes, searching for something that wasn't there.

"Dammit, Fuu." He exhaled a sharp breath. "What the hell's your deal?" he paused to stare up at the moon, partially obscured by a dark cloud. "I mean, I know what today is, but…" he sighed, failing to find how he wanted to finish that thought.

"And you _still_ wonder why I'm acting this way?" She turned her gaze to the moon, as well, too enraged to keep eye contact anymore. "It's the anniversary of my mother's _death_ and you're angry because I'm upset?" she scoffed sarcastically. "How dare you. Who do you think you are?"

Mugen shrugged, unfazed by her fury. "A guy who's lost more people than you prob'ly ever talked to."

Fuu turned to him then, but his eyes were fixed on the sky.

"After seeing as many deaths as I have, it just becomes another part 'a life to you." He continued. "Everyone dies, Fuu – parents, friends, and everyone in-between. There's no point in gettin' so upset over somethin' that happens to everyone."

Fuu sucked her lips into her mouth to keep them from quivering. "I…I just miss her so much…" Silently, the tears escaped her.

"I wish I could relate so I could offer ya some good advice." He shrugged. "But I can't."

"You've never lost someone you cared about?" Even through her tears, she still sounded dubious. "What about _your_ mother?"

He rolled his eyes. "_What_ mother?" A scoff. "C'mon, Fuu, you should know better by now."

"…Even the cruelest man on the planet still has a mother who loves him, Mugen."

Mugen leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. "I s'pose that's true." He conceded. "But I wouldn't know, 'cause my mother died before I could crawl, apparently."

Fuu looked back him with a creased brow. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to –"

"Didn't mean to _what_?" he interrupted. "Remind me of a person I didn't even know? I think I'll be okay…"

Fuu rolled her eyes, sick of his sarcasm. "I don't understand how life can be so trivial. Does it _really_ mean so little to you?"

He shrugged. "It ain't my top priority."

"So what is?" she paused for a beat. "No, wait – let me guess: fighting _completely _avoidable battles, drinking saké like it's the elixir for immortality, and – most importantly – meaningless sex with strange women." Fuu watched as he stood up from the grass and dusted himself off.

He didn't need to put up with this bullshit. He came over here to apologize, but if she wanted to judge him like everyone else, then fuck her. "_You_ see it as meaningless sex." He said, turning to leave. "But _I_ see it as way to remind myself that I'm still alive."

* * *

**A/N:** I'm very big on Spike (from Cowboy Bebop) and Mugen allusions. The prompt inspired me to write this because it reminded me of Spike's inability to tell if he was really alive, or if everything was just a dream. Hope you enjoyed even despite its length! 1,765 words (not including the author's notes and prompt). Ouch.

Also, *_Dumplings over flowers_ is a proverb that means to be practical. A person should want food instead of impractical objects. It's sort of relevant…if you squint.


	14. Sick Sick Sick

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** I'm sick. Wah. So to alleviate some of the stresses of a freaking sore throat/ear-something combo, I decided to use my waning strength to write this little do-dad. I know I said in the beginning that all these drabbles would be inspired by lyrics/quotes/prompts; but now that I really think about it, I lied. I feel like my better drabbles are the ones that don't have any sort of prompt…the ones that just _are_.

Okay, I'm ending this now because I think my medication is making me loopy…Enjoy Fuu's torment and eventual revenge on – who else? – Mugen. If you squint and tilt your head, you can see some MxF flirting, which will make you start to foam at the mouth at the ending. Probably…

* * *

_This_ was justice? She scoffed. This wasn't justice. What sort of omnipotent being in the sky saw fit to make courteous little Fuu _sick_ after she sacrificed her own and her two bodyguards' comfort for someone more in need of it?

It was about three days ago. They'd managed to find a cozy little inn at a cozy little village. But the okami-san informed them that she only had one room available. And before Mugen, Jin, or Fuu could sigh with relief at their luck, a feeble-looking old couple turned up right behind them. The okami-san had coldly turned them away, saying she'd already given her last room to the handsome samurai and his questionable brood.

And that's when Fuu had sealed her miserable fate. She told the okami-san that they would find another place to stay because this old couple obviously needed to be out of the rain more than they did. Mugen had protested. Loudly. Crudely. But Fuu had managed to drag him away, miraculously, and the trio settled underneath a decently sized overhang behind another building.

Jin sat down and fell asleep almost immediately. Fuu settled herself in uneasily beside him, as Mugen took the final spot on her left. He glared daggers and spit hellfire her way, promising he'd make her regret giving up their room. Fuu had merely turned her nose into the air and said that she could only be rewarded with good karma, something Mugen knew little about.

And that's when Mugen shoved her. It wasn't a brutal shove or anything. More like a shoulder bump to make her shut up already. But, being Fuu – tiny, light, clumsy, she was sent flying into the rain. Mugen's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets in shock, which then turned into hearty laughter – "There's some good karma for your preachin' ass, girly!" – and Jin stared curiously on, awake now from the pirate's mirth.

Fuu scrambled back into her spot between her two bodyguards, but was given an uneasy reception. She was wet and cold and the trio was quite literally shoulder-to-shoulder. They didn't want to get wet or cold, either. But, to Fuu's shock and appreciation, neither man said anything about it. It was plain as day in their faces and in the way they tried to scoot away as far as possible without falling into the rain themselves, but they didn't say anything to her about it. And for that, she was grateful.

She'd awoken the next morning with a tingly little scratch at the back of her throat and a stuffy nose. Mugen told her, what felt like a million times, to quit snifflin' and clearin' her throat – drink somethin' if her throat was botherin' her so much. So she did. She'd cleaned out her canteen within an hour and they kept having to stop (as they were following a river, thankfully) so she could refill it.

Jin was the one who declared her sick, feeling her tonsils at the back of her chin and tickling her. She ignored Mugen's taunts – "Why're ya blushin' Fuu? You want me to leave so you two can play some _real_ doctor?" – and stared anywhere but into Jin's scrutinizing gaze. The samurai nodded and said it was a simple sore throat. Green tea and honey would be her best friend until it went away.

But that was three days ago. Now, not only was she sick of green tea and honey, but her throat was _aching_ and her ears made everything sound faraway. She was forced to breath out of her mouth because her nose was packed with cement for all she knew, which made her throat dry out faster. Nothing worked the way it was supposed to and whenever she thought she had found a way to alleviate one symptom, another appeared to take its place.

"Find your voice yet?"

She scowled at Mugen.

"Good. 'Cause this has been the best two damn days of my life, right Four-Eyes?"

Jin turned to give Fuu, who was trailing behind the two, a concerned glance. He readjusted his glasses. "Would you like to rest?" He paused to allow her to catch up.

"_Again?_" Mugen was incredulous, walking ahead. "At this rate, we're gonna be older than that stupid couple at the inn by the time we reach Edo!"

Fuu gave the back of his head another venomous look before shaking her head negatively at Jin. The pirate was right, albeit a bit exaggerated. It was nearing sunset and they needed a place to stay. They wouldn't be able to find one if they kept stopping to rest.

Jin touched the back of his hand to Fuu's forehead, and the tiny teen almost fell backwards. "You're dizzy, then?"

She nodded, shaping her fingers into a gesture that indicated, "A little."

"You _do _feel somewhat warmer than usual." Jin placed the hand that was on her forehead to his chin in thought. "Perhaps we should have a physician take a look at you. Whenever we reach the next town –"

"Hey!"

They turned to Mugen, who was so far off in the distance he appeared smaller than Fuu's pinky finger.

He jutted his thumb behind him. "Lights!"

* * *

"Yo, girly."

Fuu removed her face from her hands to look across the table.

"Ya hungry?"

She nodded, taking in the restaurant. It smelled delicious, but was a bit foggy due to pipe smoke. It was pretty loud, too, fueling her headache and doing nothing to help her appetite.

"Whaddya want?"

She lowered a brow and shrugged. Mugen was being nice? This wouldn't end well.

"Point to somethin'." He held the menu out for her to peruse, staring dumbly at the item she selected. He turned to Jin. "…She wants this one."

Jin sighed at the illiterate man and nodded, turning to Fuu. "Only dango?"

She nodded, returning to cradling her head just as a waitress. She heard her bodyguards give the woman their order and listened as Jin ordered her dango for her.

"Also, miso and green tea…with honey."

Fuu groaned and dropped her head onto the table.

"Suck it up, brat."

Too weary to lift her head and give the pirate a vehement look, Fuu instead settled on lifting her hand and using Mugen's favorite finger against him. His laughter shook the table.

The waitress returned quickly, pausing with Fuu's soup and tea. Mugen rolled his eyes and pushed Fuu's head out of the way so the other girl could give her the food. Fuu was too exhausted to stop herself from sliding, even though Mugen had let go of her a long time ago, and she found herself resting atop the empty spot next to her.

The waitress and Mugen turned uneasy glances Jin's way, the latter of which stared at the sleeping teen and squeezed the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses.

"I gave her ginger tea with a bit of lemon instead." The waitress announced anxiously. "She looks pretty bad, if you don't mind me saying."

"Is there a doctor nearby?"

The girl bit her lip. "He's not really official…but he's the closest thing we've got without heading to the next town."

Jin sighed; worried she'd say something like that.

"Where's he at?" Mugen questioned, eyeing the slumbering Fuu. He'd be damned if they had to put up with these antics any longer.

* * *

The doctor chuckled and sat down in front of Fuu, who sat nervously next to Jin. Mugen had been forced to wait outside.

"You have quite a nasty case of influenza, my dear."

She balled her tiny hands into fists upon her lap.

"It is another word for the common cold." Jin elucidated, keen to her anxiousness.

"A common misconception, samurai." The doctor countered. "Influenza is much more severe. Highly contagious."

Fuu closed her eyes tightly to conquer a dizzy spell.

"It can lead to pneumonia if not detected soon enough."

"And in Fuu's case?"

"She is not there yet."

Phew!

"But…"

Of course…

"Since it is a virus, I cannot give her any medication to help." He sighed. "Her best bet of beating it is to get lots of rest and to drink plenty of fluids."

"I see."

"Green tea with honey is my personal prescription."

Fuu fell forward and clutched her head, releasing a silent scream.

The doctor eyed her but Jin held his hand up in a pacifying way. "She does not react kindly to green tea and honey…"

* * *

"So what's the verdict?" Mugen stood up when Jin and Fuu exited the doctor's house.

"Influenza."

The pirate arched a brow and looked at the green-in-the-face teen. "You're gonna die."

Fuu stuck her tongue out at him and folded her arms across her chest, mouthing, "Screw you."

"I can read lips y'know."

"But you can't read words?.!" She was dying to scream back at him. Damn this stupid virus. She could deal with the sore throat, the stuffy-and-then-runny nose, the muscle aches, the dizziness…but she could not deal with the loss of her voice. Especially when she had to constantly contend someone like _Mugen_.

It was entirely his fault anyway. If he hadn't given her that shove three nights ago, she would have never landed in the rain and gone to sleep wet and cold. Stupid jerk.

"The doctor said she needs rest. Lots of it."

Mugen sighed heavily. "You ain't never gonna find that sunflower dude at this rate, girly." He ignored the figurative steam rising from her ears. "You gotta suck it up. Toughen up – it's just some sniffles."

Just some sniffles? _JUST SOME SNIFFLES?.!_

Fuu growled and tackled Mugen to the ground, smacking and punching and scratching at anything she could get her hands on. Jin pinched the bridge of his nose and sat with his back against the doctor's door, watching the two idiots quarrel. It didn't last very long, as Mugen easily overpowered the frail and sickly girl. He clasped her hands behind her back and sat up with her in his lap, staring amusedly into her face.

"Damn, Fuu." He chuckled. "I never knew you were such a scrapper! I might have a few bruises now!"

Fuu scowled deeper, not satisfied yet. He was still mocking her. She needed to win. She needed a surefire way to shut him up for good. Something drastic and insane that he could never top. Something that would be sure to put him in his place and show him who's boss.

She leaned her head in and slammed her mouth to his, parting his lips and swirling her tongue against his. Both their eyes were open and wide as they stared back at each other, a mixture of shock and bewilderment. Behind them, Jin sat frozen with a highly quirked brow. But after a moment, things made sense and his lips curved up into an appreciative smile. Fuu really was too clever.

"What the hell was _that?.!_" Mugen demanded, releasing her hands and shooting to his feet. He wiped the back of his hand against his mouth and spit onto the ground, glaring at the smirking Fuu beneath him.

Jin cleared his throat, catching the pirate's attention and not bothering to conceal his mirth. "Influenza is highly contagious."

* * *

**A/N:** Oi vei…I didn't plan for this to be so long. 1,871 words, not including the title or A/N's. Yikes. I hope it was enjoyable despite it's length. Once I started I just couldn't stop. And I'm thinking about writing a sequel to this, about how well Mugen fares with a cold. Let me know what you think!

Also, for some odd reason FFN doesn't publish an exclamation point when it's next to a question mark, and vice-versa. So I put a period between them in the hopes that both would show up that way.


	15. APPLES

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Howdy y'all! Okay, so as you all know, I've been sick lately. And what does being sick mean? Yeah, hours and hours of being stuck under the blankets while watching the classic movie channel…at least for me.

Anyway, I'm not too sure what I want to get out of this chapter. It was inspired by a scene from _Around the World in 80 Days_ (1956), in which a character is marveling in front of the Buddha of Kamakura. It's a cute movie and you're really missing out if you've never seen it before. But it's like 4 hours long…so it's perfect if you're sick and doing nothing! =D

About this chapter…it's Mugen-centric and ends (slightly)fluffy I guess…meh. Also, there was a prompt on my list that was too perfect to pass up! It makes me wonder if it was just coincidence…or if it was divine intervention – like this fic!

Also, there are a few f-bombs (like 3ish), courtesy of Mugen…Enjoy!

* * *

**APPLES**

**

* * *

**

Mugen stood in front of the statue, staring into its sightless eyes. He scowled at it, making it appear to stare harder down at him. Buddha knew what he was thinking. And he did not approve.

The pirate shifted his gaze to the tray of red apples that lay out in tribute, tempting those who dared to look, and licked his lips as he salivated. Growling, he looked back up at 45-foot Buddha, straightening his back to stand taller – he wasn't about to let a damn statue get the better of him. A few of those praying gave his standoffish stance an odd look, but then cast worried glances back to Buddha and prayed harder.

Those apples look _good_. The red of their skin was bright and shiny, and they were so big Mugen was shocked that the tray was able to hold as many as it did. Who would leave such delicious looking food in front of a _statue_ when there were starving people in the streets? It wasn't right.

That was the mentality Mugen held as he reached for one, at least. But a crow cawed loudly before flapping its wings, making him flinch back reflexively. He watched as the bird departed the Buddha's shoulder and circled above him.

Sheesh, he hated those stupid birds. It was like the fucking crowmen were keeping an eye on him or something. Whenever he saw one of the birds, he took serious pleasure in either chasing it away or throwing something at it. He knew better than to actually kill one, so that was the next best thing.

Mugen wasn't stupid enough not to recognize an omen when he saw one, though. But it was his pride that would never allow him to heed one. Everything about this situation was wrong. Staring down the sacred Buddha? Wrong. Mulling over swiping one of the apples? Wrong. _Still_ doing both of the above after a circling crow was obviously warning him of the bad things to come? Wrong!

Why was he thinking so much? He hated thinking – it gave away your next move. And by now, all the people in front of the Buddha knew what he was thinking. And even _they_ did not approve. But it wasn't like any of these simple folk were going to do anything to stop a convict. If he wanted bad karma, then let him have it, right? He obviously deserved it.

Mugen scoffed. Karma. Yeah right. He dared karma to take him on. He wanted to see what it could throw at him that he hadn't already conquered a long time ago. He wasn't afraid of something stupid like that.

He wasn't terribly superstitious – what you can't touch, can't touch you back. And if you're quick enough, then it sure as hell can't hurt you, right? Hell, he once fought a dude who turned the freaking _air_ around him into a lethal weapon, so Mugen laughed in the face of karma.

He was going to steal an apple or two from Buddha. What's the worst it could do to him? Turn the food he ordered from a restaurant moldy? Make all the saké he drank into water? …Put a hole in his secret pocket so his secret stash of hooker money fell out? …Give the next whore he slept with an Adam's apple?.!

He eyed the circling crow nervously. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that a few apples just wasn't worth all the trouble…

"Fuck!" he spat, startling the people around him and sending them into a frenzy of hushed mutters.

He ignored them and chose to follow the shadow of the crow, which had just decided to quit circling him like he was a dead man and lead him back the way he came. It gave a loud caw before soaring higher and eventually disappearing into the sky.

Mugen gave it a flat look and flipped it off, suddenly realizing why they called it "flipping the bird"…at least in his case.

"Mugen, what the hell are you doing?" came Fuu's voice from behind him.

He dropped his hand back to his side and turned to wait for his two companions. He eyed the woven basket in Jin's arms curiously. "Whatcha got there?"

"Apples!" Fuu cried out happily. "We got a dozen of 'em for just a few mon! The farmer had a surplus this year and had no clue what to do with all of them!" she grinned and removed the lid to reveal the plump and radiant fruit. "Isn't this great?"

There came another caw, though Mugen was the only one seemingly aware of it. He stared over Fuu's head and past Jin, back to where the Buddha sat perpetually meditating in the distance. His sharp eyes caught the movement of the black bird as it took off into the sky again.

"Fuckin' a…"

* * *

**A/N:** I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I mean I really really like the plot but I'm not sure if I did it any justice. I also tried looking up if there was any specific reason why people gave apples to the Buddha, or if it was just something some dude did during the movie. But my research yielded zilch results, so I just kinda ran with it. If anyone knows the reason for the apples (if there is any) would you be a dear and let me know? That way, I'll be able go back and edit this chapter to make it even better! And you'd get credit for edumacatin' me, of course :D Thanks for reading, see you next chapter!


	16. Sand, Wind, and Hands

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Hello, hello! Yes, I _am_ alive! I've just been super distracted lately what with work and getting nailed with the sudden inspiration for an original fic! But fear not loyal reader, I just rewatched some my favorite episodes of SC and -BAM!- inspiration.

This chapter will be a bit angsty as I've quite literally _just_ finished reading a rather angsty book. It will also be post-series, and Fuu-centric because lately I've been focusing on Mugen and am nowhere near talented enough to do a Jin-centric chappy any justice. Enjoy!

Oh, PS: this will probably be rather long since I've decided to conquer 3 – I repeat – _three_ prompts in one. They were in this order in the document where I keep all my prompts, too :D (And also, I definitely got them off a prompt community. Probably LiveJournal, but I am absolutely LJ-illiterate…hence my inability to join any actual communities ; But, hey, I get points for trying to give credit this time. Be a dear and help me out with the rest?)

* * *

**SANDS OF TIME; WINDS OF CHANGE; HAND OF FATE

* * *

**

Settled. That was a good way to describe Fuu now. Over time, she'd become accustomed to her new home in Nagasaki. It was, of course, just a modest room atop a teahouse. But she had to pay rent and work, just like she would with an actual house. Baby steps, that was all.

The customers were generally always the same. Fuu could tell the time of day based on whom she was serving at the moment. She loved the routine of it all, especially after living such an uncertain existence the months before coming to Nagasaki.

It was a simple way of life, sure, but she was content with it. And that was what really mattered. She had food on her plate, a roof over her head, and clothes on her back. She really had no reason to demand much more…but Fuu rarely followed the path of reason.

The sands of time were up to her knees now, reminding her of her mortal existence as the days wore on. She found herself counting knots in wooden planks, or finding animals in the clouds, or pondering grains of rice in her bowl more often than was probably normal.

She didn't like it. Days came and went, but Fuu stayed the same. She was up at dawn precooking the teashop's food, running errands around town by noon, and soaking in the outdoor tub by nightfall. Then everything would reset itself, and so would Fuu. Like clockwork. The sands of time would suffocate her if it kept up.

* * *

A single boy managed to be the stone that interrupted her monotonous stream. It was a simple serendipitous meeting that caused the stone to fork the flow, but Fuu would never be the same.

This boy reminded Fuu of someone. Two someones who had irrevocably affected her life in the past. She had forgotten such people could even exist, but she had somehow managed to snag one all for herself, just the same.

His name was Kaze, and he brought with him the winds of change. He was reckless, quick-witted, and loyal. It only made sense that Fuu had fallen for him as hard as she had. His existence by her side had breathed life into her and rejuvenated her soul.

When he asked her to leave with him, she hadn't hesitated in saying yes. Fuu had realized with Kaze's arrival, that she had once lived a simpler life and been happier then she was now with everything she would ever need. He had helped her see that materials didn't make the life.

Their life together was strenuous, but Fuu had adapted quite quickly. Kaze was wanted by the shogunate for petty crimes, another thing she had told him that they had in common. When she couldn't earn their dinners, Kaze would weasel them some. When his smooth-talking didn't work, he took what he wanted. And then they would run.

* * *

Their collective lucks ran out when Kaze pick-pocketed the wrong guy and Fuu had lost a bet at the wrong casino. Both were with the shogunate. Officials who were taking a break in that sleepy town who had just happened to run into two wanted criminals.

It didn't take long at all for word to get out. Two small-time criminals up for grabs, reward and all for anyone who brought them in. Their names were known. Their faces were known. Their clothes were known. All of those things seemed to change as the days went on. Aliases, makeup, and new clothes.

They were amateurs while the people they were fleeing were masters of their crafts. Fuu's bodyguards had always intervened before things got too out of hand for her, and Kaze's worse offense was grabbing dango from a stand. They were no match.

So when they finally arrived at another sleepy town, word of their bounty spread like wildfire. It was made clear that Fuu's head would fetch a heftier sum than Kaze's, so permission was given to kill the latter as long as it didn't interfere with the former.

The hands of fate were cruel, cold, and ironic. Kaze had told her they would be safe by the stream, so she believed him. When she had returned from gathering firewood, she found him lying face down atop a boulder that split the water. Her shrill cry had alerted his slayer, which only made Fuu wail harder at the familiarity.

She should have recognized the metal footsteps she thought she had heard trailing them all day. She should have known better when the strong smell of saké invaded her senses. She should have acted when she thought she'd spotted a flash of red in the forest.

But Fuu was never one to follow the path of reason. That's what she kept telling herself to justify accompanying him, at least.

* * *

**A/N:** Yikes, that was kind of a downer, eh? I didn't really have a plan for this one, but I just _had_ to write it after stumbling across those prompts. I tried to make each "scene" based on each prompt, but I'm pretty sure you got that since I managed to include each prompt in its section. And I hope you could understand it. Basically, Fuu's bored, so she happily goes along with Kaze (who's name means "wind" in Japanese.) They travel happily for a while, until Kaze pick-pockets a shogunate official on the same night that Fuu causes another official to lose a gambling bet…(since she was dealer). Then things go to hell, they get hunted mostly because of Fuu's bounty, and eventually the money attracts Mugen, who then kills Kaze only to realize his traveling companion is Fuu. She goes with Mugen despite his latest screw-up, because it's fate that they've been reunited…however terrible the circumstances. Yeah, kinda lame. I'll probably rewrite this once I think of a better plot XD I'm really into making SC AMVs now anyway, so let that be my reason if I don't update for a while…again. Thanks so much for sticking with me! I'll see you again after my next update!


	17. Dirt Room

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Since chapter 16 is such a ridiculous downer, I decided to make 17 a ridiculous upper! But wait come back, don't run away yet! It's not fluff…oh good Lord is this _not_ fluff – but it's not angst! I'm hoping for this to just be a mindless update – full of mindless humor within a mindless plot. But it depends on my playlist, really. It's on shuffle and so far it's been giving me upbeat tunes…but be warned, it's long overdue for a curve ball in the form of a sappy song or an angsty one. This will also wind up being a bit lengthy, since it's sort of like a drabble-chapter within a drabble-series. So now that you've been warned about the Murphy's Law chapter, read at your own risk. And remember to enjoy, loves!

* * *

"**I wanna cover you in ants, bees, and honey." – Dirt Room-Blue October

* * *

**

"No money, no room!" the old man shouted, his bushy eyebrows so furrowed they concealed his beady eyes.

"But –"

He slammed the door in Fuu's face with a grumpy snarl.

"We can work!" She cried through the rice paper. "Just for one night, sir! We'll work for the room!"

"Forget it, Fuu." Jin told her, patiently putting a hand on her shoulder before she charged through the door.

Mugen gave the other man an odd look but said nothing, instead choosing to fold his hands behind his head.

Fuu ignored them both. "We'll work for our room, sir!" She insisted. "Need new rice paper? New tatami? We'll fix it for you!"

"I already got extra hands around here!" he shouted at her. "I don't need you stragglers messin' up my art!"

Fuu paused and turned to stare confusedly at the two men behind her.

"Stubborn and ardent clinging to one's opinion is the best proof of stupidity." Jin spoke.

"…_What?_" Mugen snapped.

"He means that the old man's stubbornness is making him illogical." Fuu explained, hopping off the elevated porch of the inn. She spun back around a moment later to glare at the door. "_Clearly_, he doesn't know a _good deal_ when it bites him _on his ass!_"

Mugen and Jin's hands instantly went to their swords when they heard the door slid open again. A bespectacled young man appeared and slid it shut again, silently beckoning them over. The two guards looked at each other and, with a look, deemed this kid nonthreatening. They relaxed and Fuu shoved through them to give this kid a piece of her mind.

"You can tell that old grump that we don't _want_ his room anymore! He lost –"

Mugen grabbed the tiny girl from behind and clasped his hand over her mouth as Jin conversed with the other glasses-clad man. "Let the Four-Eyes haggle." He peered down at her with an amused look. "What's your deal today anyway? You been bitchin' everyone out since you woke up."

She scowled up at him, his large hand still covering the lower half of her face while the other trapped her arms behind her back. She squirmed and he let her go easily, just in time for Jin to return from the porch.

"What's up?"

"We are to accompany him on an errand." He replied, giving Fuu a cursory glance. "Once completed, he will sneak us into a room. We must be gone by dawn tomorrow morning, before his master awakens."

Fuu grinned. "What's the errand?"

He gave the young girl another tense look. "He needs to collect insects."

Fuu stared, unmoving for a long moment. Her eyes were glued to Jin's, but they had a sightless gleam to them. The corners of her lips were perpetually sliding down into a deeper scowl, and her fingers were trembling at her sides.

"What's her deal?" the pirate asked his comrade, waving a hand in front of the girl's face.

"I believe she's gone catatonic with shock."

"The hell do _cats_ have to do with this?"

* * *

"Oh, wow." Fuu grinned, taking in the layered pair of iridescent emerald earrings. "Those are pretty, Mushi." She told the bespectacled boy. "Can I try them on?"

He nodded and helped her, standing back to take her in. "They look good on you." He smiled shyly, making Fuu blush.

"Do they?" She gave her head a little wriggle and listened as the layers clanged against one another. "I wish I had a mirror." She pouted, futilely perusing the little forest clearing in which they were sitting.

"I don't have one with me." Mushi said. "But you can take my word for it."

She smiled and brought up a finger to touch the smooth jewels that made up the earrings' thick layers. "What are these –"

"Yo!" Mugen sprang up from a bush and startled the two younger teens. "You got another thing comin' if you think I'm doin' your work for you, Fuu." He snapped, tossing two squirming kabutomushi into Mushi's basket. "Get your ass in gear. Four-Eyes ain't no help." He jutted his thumb behind him, where Jin was silently stalking a rather large kabutomushi perched atop a log. "He's been after that one for the past fifteen minutes now." The three watched with respective looks of amusement, pity, and disgust on their faces, as he pounced – and the beetle flew away to a nearby tree.

"You know it's not only kabutomushi we need." Mushi said. "We still need a bunch of tamamushi."

Mugen nodded. "To make that jewelry, right?"

The two turned to Fuu, who sat frozen after hearing the pirate's words. Her fingers were hovering over the earrings and her eyes had glazed over again, mouth ajar in a silent scream.

"Is…is she alright?" Mushi questioned.

"She's turnin' into a cat or somethin'…" Mugen dismissed, grabbing the younger man and dragging him into the forest to help. "She'll be back to normal once you get those earrings offa' her…so let's do everyone a favor and keep 'em on a little while longer…"

* * *

"_MUGEN!_" Fuu shrieked, pumping her arms harder to make her legs move faster. "_GET AWAY FROM ME!_"

He was grinning like the devil, chasing after her with a cluster of tamamushi in his outstretched hands. "I thought you liked these little guys!" he teased, gangly limbs making it all too easy to keep up with the screeching youth. "You were wearin' 'em an hour ago!"

"Jin!" she cried, breathless. "Jin! Help me!" She scurried behind him. "Keep him away from me!"

The stoic ronin released an unenthused sigh as the kabutomushi escaped his clutches for the seventh time that day. It opened its wings and soared, Fuu's sudden entrance startling it into the leaves of another nearby tree.

"_JIN!_" she whined, gaping at his retreating figure. She watched as he rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the nearest branch, making an awkward ascent.

"Fucker's determined." Mugen commented, standing beside Fuu and tracking Jin's movements by the rustling and falling leaves.

The girl turned slowly, giving his clasped hands a terrified look. He caught her gaze and smirked wickedly, feigning the bundle her way. She took off running with a piercing screech as Mugen fought to stand upright with all his laughter.

* * *

"Ouch! You little bastard!" Mugen shook his hand to free his finger from the mandibles of a particularly nasty looking stag beetle. It plummeted to the ground with an audible crash and flailed its legs in a futile attempt to right itself. Mugen laughed at it. "That'll teach ya to fuck with me, jerk-off." He raised his foot, ready to smash the giant insect, when a much louder crash caught his ear. He turned to discover Jin facedown beneath a tree branch, and trotted over. "Ya dead?" he prodded him with the toe of his geta.

Jin swatted him away and righted himself, adjusting his glasses despite the tangled mess that had become his ponytail.

"Just give up." Mugen told him, folding his arms. "We already got more than enough kabutomushi. The kid needs tamamushi now. It ain't worth the trouble anymore."

Jin stood up, clearly flustered but trying his damndest to appear unruffled. "The size of a man is judged by the size of what angers him." He stated, returning to the tree and latching onto the branch he'd fallen from.

"…_What?_"

* * *

"Hey, Fuu." Mugen beckoned, making the girl turn and come face-to-face with a writhing stag beetle. She shrieked and flailed her arms to get the ferocious bug away from her, smacking against something in the process.

Stunned, she watched the pirate stumble and send the stag beetle flying into a set of nearby bushes. "Oh, my God!" She took in the blood at the corner of his lip and realized it was her doing. She puffed her chest out like a proud gorilla. "Serves you right, jerk!"

"Damn!" He licked away the blood and spit the wad onto the dirt below. "You split my lip!"

"It serves you right!" She repeated. "There's only so far you can push a lady before she's forced to push back, you know." She told him matter-of-factly.

He smirked at her. "Just wait til later on – I'll steal Jin's monster kabutomushi and put it in your futon."

"Do that, and I'll cover you with ants, bees, and honey!" she threatened, storming off after Mushi.

The pirate gave her a wicked leer as he watched her go. "Kinky…"

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, so I kinda cheated. I used 2 other quotes on top of the lyric prompt that inspired this thing. So you can consider it a 2-for-1 special…I guess. And I dare you to Google the bugs mentioned in this fic. They are fearsome – kabutomushi (rhinoceros beetle – like Rodriguez), tamamushi (which are actually used for making jewelry, called beetlewing jewelry), and the _Japanese_ stag beetle. He is easily the worst – definitely not someone I'd like to discover in my house, that's for _damn_ sure. And I'm sorry for this one's length. There were actually a million other scenes I wanted to include, but this sucker was getting too long for my liking. Maybe I'll add a part 2 sometime. Anyway, I apologize if I made your skin crawl at any point in this story - because mine sure as hell did a few times while writing it...


	18. All the Things These Hands Can Do

**Just Another Day in the Life**

**A/N:** Okay, so I think this prompt was originally meant to be for a citrus fic, but a different idea came to mind after reading it. I want to say it's going to fluctuate between angst and fluff, but my plots always find a way to veer off course. So we'll see how this turns out. And, as always, if you recognize the prompt, let me know where it's from so I can give credit where it's due…because I really love this prompt – so much can be done with it! That said, enjoy!

Oh, PS: I'm stretching the truth with that fortune-teller in the vase episode! Nothing earth-shattering, but I'm just letting you know in case you find yourself scratching your head wondering when that ever happened.

PPS: Rated _very_ high T for Mugen's _very_ angry curse words.

* * *

**Think of all the things these hands could do to you…

* * *

**

"C'mon, Mugen!" Fuu crooned, quite literally hanging from the pirate's arm. "Jin let me do it to him!"

"I said no, you moron!" He barked, plainly attempting to shake her off his appendage. "Goddammit, lemme go!"

"Never!" She declared like a battle cry, taking the abuse like a pro. "Not until you give in!"

"Like hell!" He shoved his foot into her stomach to try and scrape her away like a clingy bug. "A little help, Four-Eyes?"

Jin was sitting on the opposite side of the campfire, far too busy inspecting his hand to pay the distressed pirate any attention.

"Your pissin' me off now, Fuu!"

"Do your worst!" she declared, clenching her eyes shut in preparation. "I'll just endure 'til you're too pooped to fight anymore!"

Mugen growled and folded his legs beneath him, landing on his ass in an abrupt agura position. Fuu crawled over him to inspect his disgruntled face.

"Does this mean you give up?"

"Tch." He scoffed, shoving his hand into her face. "I don't care, whatever shuts your ass up. …S'all a buncha horseshit anyway."

"Yes!" Fuu exclaimed victoriously, grabbing his hand eagerly. "A fortune-teller read my palm once. Everything she said was so true."

Mugen frowned and stared at his palm settled between her tiny fingers. It didn't look like anything special. Just a regular old palm, no worse for wear. "Ya know everything you tell me is gonna be on the money 'cause I ain't some stranger to you, right?"

"Hush up and let me think."

He scowled. "It's called palm-_readin'_ not palm-_thinkin_'!"

She fixed him with a glare. "Just be quiet for a few minutes, will you?"

"Whatever…" He rolled his stormy orbs and plopped his chin in his opposite hand, resting his sharp elbow on his leg. Jin was still sitting over by that stupid tree staring at his palm like it had appeared out of thin air. Some enlightened samurai, he scoffed, getting all tied up in the mystic mumbo-jumbo of some little girl.

Fuu stared at his left palm, remembering what the old lady had been able to explain to her in their short meeting. For men, the left hand represented what they were born with and the right hand represented what they've accumulated. She traced the lines in his left palm – determined to find out as much as she could about her mysterious bodyguard's even shadier past.

"Your heart line doesn't surprise me…" She told him flatly with a matching deadpan expression.

He looked at his hand, expecting it to start glowing with kanji or something. "What's it say?"

She pointed at the squiggly indent closest to his fingers. "You're content with your love life, since this line ends at your index finger. And according to how wavy it is, you've had several lovers without a single real relationship."

He grinned lecherously, knowing she was two seconds away from lecturing him. "Well, so far so good, kid."

Fuu rolled her eyes, ready to burst his bubble. "Well, this right _here_ –" she touched a tiny curve that branched off the original pattern. "–Tells me there's been some emotional trauma."

He lowered a brow at her.

"Emotional _pain_, Mugen." She sighed. "You're not as tough as you think you are."

"Bitch, I'm the toughest there is!" He scoffed. "Gimme anyone who says anything different and I'll kick their ass like all the rest!"

"You're such a brute." She dismissed, squeezing his hand in warning. "Sit down and shut up."

"My _palm_ ain't tellin' you all this – you know all this shit already."

"Would you just play along?" She snapped. "I'm trying to change it up a bit. Instead of sitting around staring at the fire like we always do, I'm trying to get to know you guys better."

"So why not just ask us what you wanna know, smartass?"

"Because you never tell me what I want to know, jackass." She grabbed his fingers and straightened them out to get a better look at his palm. Then, she sighed. "This scar took away your head line."

"So?"

"I can't tell how smart you are or how your mind works."

He bristled. "I'm smart enough to save _your _dumbass all the time! My mind works just fine, get on with it!"

"_Fine_." She tugged his hand closer indignantly. "Your life line says you've got _plenty_ of energy."

He exhaled, bored. "You can't tell me anythin' interesting?" He demanded. "What the hell'd you say to Four-Eyes – he hasn't stopped starin' at his hand since you finished with it."

"Jin's fate is Jin's fate." She stated simply. "You want something interesting? Get a load of this, then. This break right here indicates a sudden change in lifestyle. Got any idea what _that's_ about?"

"Yes." He gave a terse nod to her expectant gaze. "And it's none'a your business, girly. If you can read me so easily, you should be able to figure it out on your own."

"Jerk." She grumbled, jabbing her finger into his palm again. "This says that you're cautious when it comes to relationships." She gave a cheeky grin. "In other words, you keep a close watch on that heart of yours, you big softy."

"Tch." He scoffed. "You're nuts."

Fuu's scowl deepened and she moved to the final line in his hand. "Your fate line says you're a self-made man."

"No shit, Sherlock." He mocked. "What other kinda men are worth callin' themselves men?"

She ignored him, staring hard at the line adjacent to his tattooed wrist. "Hmm…"

"Hm?"

"This is…unexpected."

"What?"

"You're very prone to external forces…and it says you'll have to put someone else's interests before your own one day."

He narrowed his eyes and snatched his hand away from her. "Enough of this shit. I can see your brains oozin' outta your ears, sweetheart."

She glared at him. "You're such a jerk, you know that? Why can't you just sit still for a few minutes and have a nice conversation with me?"

"A 'nice conversation'?" He echoed incredulously. "Is that you call havin' to put up with your crazy ideas about the way I work?"

"They aren't _ideas!_" she snapped defensively. "They're what your palms say about you!"

He shook his head in disbelief and reached for her hands. "You wanna know what hands say about a person?" He swallowed one of her hands with his own to form a fist. "This tells someone 'I'm gonna fuck you all kinds of up!'" He pried her fingers apart and stuck the third one in the air. "This one says, 'Kiss my ass, you sack of shit!'" He flicked one of her fingernails. "And havin' these things painted pink tells the world that you're the perfect hostage!"

Fuu released a defiant huff and glared back at the stormy orbs looming over her. "You're wrong."

"Yeah?" he challenged.

"Yeah!" she snapped, regaining her bearings. "In fact, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried!" She latched onto his hands and laced their fingers together, ignoring the look on his face that was stuck between shock and fury. "These hands – our hands – together like this show the bond between us to the world, none of that crap you just said."

"Tch." He rolled his eyes, staring at the alternating brown and white digits. "There ain't no _bond_. There's just fingers – weapons that operate other weapons."

"Weapons?" she echoed, retracting her own hands much to his relief. She brought them up to study. "These hands aren't _weapons_, Mugen."

"They are if you use 'em right." He wriggled his own fingers for emphasis. "Squeeze 'em around someone's neck and you can steal their last breath. Smack your knuckle in a temple and you can make 'em the last thing they ever feel."

"These hands of mine could _never_ be weapons for killing." She told him doggedly. "These hands are weapons for _healing_ – some of the scars on your own body are argument in favor of that."

He peered down at her, at those tiny white hands in question, and recalled the way those fingers danced about his body on more than one occasion. Wrapping him up in bandages to keep his insides from spilling out, tracing a salve like stung like a bitch across all his cuts and gashes, dipping stones in icy water to substitute a proper cold compress for his bruises. All with those porcelain hands of hers.

Those fragile digits had been the ones to call him back from the crow men, after all was said and done. He tried to imagine her ever having to use that little tanto she tucked inside her obi every morning, but just couldn't do it. If the white flesh of her hands ever spilled blood, the stains would never come out – even if she scrubbed them raw like she did when washing out his own clothes – they'd be stained forever.

"_Yours_ may not be weapons." He told her, flexing the organic machines in question at his sides. "But _mine_ sure as hell are."

* * *

**A/N:** http:/www(dot)wikihow(dot)com/Read-Palms – seriously the simplest page on palm reading I've found. I don't really know how I feel about it, in regards to its validity, but it's still pretty fun to do with friends when you've got some time to kill on the train. And, oddly enough, I'd been watching episode 10 earlier (where Mugen fights Ukon/Shoryu, the guy with the ki attacks) – when I found a shot of his palms! Well, the left one at least. They're cut and bloody from the first fight with his opponent, but most of the lines are still visible. It was too perfect o pass up! Hope you enjoyed, happy palm reading, and see you next update!


	19. My First Mistake

**Just Another Day in the Life

* * *

**

**A/N:** Don't think too much about it; just go with it. I'm leaving the ending up to you. Fluff (I guess), longing eyes, and sighing ahoy! Enjoy, loves.

PS: My first crack at 1st person POV, so let me know if I nailed it or if I should just stick to my usual MO.

PPS: I'm fairly certain you can figure out where the lyrics end and my writing begins, so I'm not going to italicize them. I wound up merging most of the lyrics into narration anyway. Whatever, you'll get it, just enjoy already!

* * *

**White Houses by Vanessa Carlton

* * *

**

My first time is hard to explain. There was a rush of blood. Oh, and a little bit of pain. It was a cloudy day – which is more common than you think.

There were three of us, and I was a bit over my head – I came undone at all the things he said. But it's all right – I just put myself in his hands and reveled as love, or something, ignited in my veins. I prayed it would never fade. It happened in a bungalow, with these strange new friends – I was so excited, I barely spoke.

He had another woman, I knew. She was so pretty, and she was so sure. But I may be more clever than a girl like her. It's all right – I mean, it was nice not to be so alone.

They were both so much faster than me – the summer was in bloom but it ended way too soon. I believe we were in all in love and we all got hurt, which is why we gave each other up so easily. Silly little wounds will never mend, I guess. But I still hold onto your secrets. It was just all too sweet to last, that's all.

I left after that. I promised I would not be back there again. I was gone as the day was fading, putting injuries all in the dust, even though in my heart it would always be the three of us.

I will never forget how he could be so funny in his bright red shirt.

I will never forget how he could be so sweet in his deep blue shirt.

And who knows? Maybe he'll remember me. I mean, what I gave is his to keep.

After all, he _is_ my first mistake.

* * *

**A/N: **I guess I was going for a post-series monologue where Fuu is comfortably situated wherever the hell she wound up and is looking back fondly at their time spent together. And now after watching the music vid for this song and realizing that ballet is NOTHING like riding a bike (in the sense that you never forget how to do it), I'm going to go ice my knee and print out the sheet music instead. I hope you enjoyed this new style of writing, because it was interesting (at the very least) to write. See you next update! (PS: This baby was 511 words! My first TRUE drabble in God-only-knows how long! Woohoo!)


	20. Of Derelicts and Dumplings

**Just Another Day in the Life

* * *

**

**A/N:** Been on a SUPER DUPER SamCham high lately…like you couldn't already tell by all the updates -_- Anyway, I was watching the first episode again (because that fight between Jin and Mugen will remain the greatest fight of the series for me) when I realized something pretty big that the creators never addressed ever again…to my knowledge. So this is my attempt to rectify that. Enjoy.

**PS:** Post-series…by like a year at the very least. Fuu returned home to the old teahouse, which has been rebuilt since the fire took it down.

* * *

**Of Derelicts and Dumplings

* * *

**

"Fuu, customer!"

"I'll be right there!" She smiled an apology at the old man she was currently serving for shouting in his ear. "Will that be all for now, sir?"

"That will be all, Fuu." The elderly regular grinned, nodding in the direction of her newest client. "It's a young man." He leered suggestively and Fuu gave him a flat look, alongside a light bop on the head with her tray.

"Give it a rest, old man." She turned when he shooed her away. "Good after –" Her tray clattered to the floor upon spotting who was seated before her. The restaurant froze, staring in silence as the tray spun and spun until it finally stilled thanks to friction.

"Yo." The vagabond greeted her with a raised hand. And with that simple utterance, the restaurant snapped back to normalcy.

He still donned the clothes he had changed into the last time she had seen him over a year ago – but they were _well_ worn. His once long red sleeves were now torn off at the shoulders, and he wielded a different sword – this one more similar to the one he used during their journey together. Had he not lifted his hand to reveal his tattooed wrists, she would have never recognized him.

"_Mugen?_" She asked just to make sure her mind wasn't playing tricks.

He nodded. "S'time you make good on that deal you made me, Fuu."

"What?" She demanded, retrieving her tray from the floor without taking her eyes off him – as though he'd disappear as fast as he'd come if she did.

He grinned. "Don't tell me you forgot."

She scowled, the tray itching for the crown of his stupid smug head. "If you're being a letch again, I swear I'll kick your ass."

His grin widened as he beckoned her closer in a move that was all too familiar. "One hundred dumplings."

Her eyes widened and she pulled back, stunned as if he'd asked her to pose for a tentacle rape ukiyo-e. Her tray got its wish as she slammed it against the back of his skull.

"_Goddammit!_" His forehead hit the table as he cradled his throbbing cranium. "What the shit was _that_ for?.!"

"I _didn't_ forget, jackass." She turned her nose up. "In fact, I remember _everything_ about that day." She rapped him on the head again as she spoke. "You asked for 50 originally, but I agreed to 20." She scoffed. "And you just _laid_ there like a bump on a log as I was about to get my freaking _nose_ chopped off until I offered you 100!"

He swatted her away and sat back up, cracking his neck and giving a light groan until his vertebrae fell back into place. "Right. So 100, then."

"Screw off." She spat. "We only serve paying customers."

"I'll pay for a drink, but you _owe_ me those damn dumplings!"

"Like hell I do!"

"Like hell you _do!_"

Fuu gnashed her teeth together. "You aren't getting a single dumpling outta me. It's _your_ fault this place burned down in the first place, and I'm _still_ working off that debt!"

"So put it on your tab." He snapped. "I'm not leaving til I get my dumplings, sweetheart."

She knew he meant it, too. "Well I suggest you get cozy 'cause you're not getting jack-squat for free." She stormed away, tending to the other patrons.

* * *

"Sir, I'm sorry but we're closing. You'll have to leave now."

Mugen glared at the old man and he stifled in fear.

"Go on, sir." Fuu told her boss, shooing his wife alongside him. "I'll finish closing up for you."

"Fuu, are you sure?" They gave the pirate wary looks as he dug inside his ear.

"I can handle this bum, don't worry." She grinned. "Now git. I'll see you tomorrow morning." She slid the doors shut before they could protest further and turned a vehement eye Mugen's way.

He stretched like a languid cat. "You always stay late with men or somethin'? They didn't really put up much fight."

"They didn't put up a fight because they wanted to get away from _you_." She folded her arms indignantly. "Now leave."

"You deaf?" He demanded. "I told you I ain't leavin' til I get my damn dumplings."

She slid the door open in warning. "_Leave_, Mugen."

"What put a bug up _your_ ass?"

"_You_ did." She countered evenly. "I'm asking nicely. Please leave."

"Like hell." It was his turn to his cross his arms. "You promised me 100 dumplings if I saved your life – which I did."

"You burned down the restaurant!"

"You're shittin' me." He stood up from the seat he'd taken over 6 hours ago. "That _nutcase_ lit this place up! Not _me!_"

"_You_ chopped his arm off!"

"To save _your_ life!"

Fuu growled and turned away from him. "Whatever. You can argue until your face turns blue – you aren't getting a single dumpling if you don't pay for them." She paused. "Besides, we're closed."

"_You_ can still make 'em, cant'cha?"

She averted her eyes. "No."

"Liar."

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm a _waitress_, Mugen. Not a cook."

"What's so hard about makin' 'em? You see 'em cooked everyday, don't'cha?"

She sighed. "Yes. But I am _not_ cooking for you."

"Don't write checks you can't cash, Fuu!"

She looked appalled. "I am _not_ cooking _one hundred_ dumplings!"

He ran his hand over his face several times before putting on a suave face. "So just make me 10."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously – it was too easy. "What about the other 90?"

"I'll come back."

Fuu hung her head and grumbled under her breath before shoving him away. "Sit down and shut up." She commanded, storming into the back room.

Mugen grinned like an excited child and followed her, poking his head through the kitchen curtain to watch her prepare the dough.

"What are you doing back here, anyway?"

He shrugged. "Japan's an island, you know."

She scowled at him. "A gigantic one. There's no way you could have traveled everywhere already."

"I started at the bottom and now I'm workin' my way back up."

"In a year?" Her tone was dubious as she worked the dough together.

"In a year." He echoed. "How long are those gonna take?"

She slammed her hand down, leaving a print in the dough. "Beggars can't be choosers, you jerk. You'll wait as long as it takes or you won't get anything at all."

He frowned. "Whatever. Just don't burn 'em."

"I'm boiling them."

"_What?_"

"It's the quickest way to make them." She insisted, taking a lump and forming a sphere. "If you want them grilled, do it yourself."

"I can get 'em grilled at a stand!"

"Then why are you _here?_"

His plan to insult her backfired and he remained silent in thought for a long moment, unable to think of what to say. "You're puttin' soy sauce on 'em, right?"

Fuu sighed in exasperation. "You can dip them yourself."

He grinned and counted the little white spheres on the counter before her. "Twenty skewers…how many dumplings does that work out to?"

Fuu froze and glared at him. "You meant 20 _skewers?.!_"

"Of _course_ I meant skewers, you idiot!"

Her tiny fists trembled. "I am _not_ boiling _80_ dumplings!"

"You promised me 100 dumplings, bitch!" He pointed to the dough. "You can't go back on your word!"

"I promised 100 _dumplings_, you moron! Not 100 _skewers!_" She bellowed. "Do you know how many dumplings I'd have to make for 100 skewers?.!" He splayed his fingers to count and Fuu growled. "That's _four hundred!_"

His gray eyes widened. "Fuck yeah! Jackpot, bitch! Get to work!"

Fuu's eyebrow twitched as she reached for the pot of bubbling water beside her. "Boil _this_, jackass!"

* * *

**A/N: **Another ambiguous ending. God, they're like my calling card, aren't they? *sigh* I ended it here because it was getting too long for my liking. I like how short the previous chapter is and would like to make all future updates a similar length. But knowing my long-winded self, it will be a cold day in hell before that happens – hence the ambiguous endings with snappy one-liners. Here's to hoping for shorter chapters. See you next update!


	21. Old Habits

**Just Another Day in the Life

* * *

**

**A/N:** So I wound up watching all the Mugen-centric episodes last night and kinda realized that he's not really that big an asshole as everyone writes him to be. Yes, he's vulgar. Yes, he's sarcastic. Yes, he's loud. But he's not _evil_. He has a soft side – as evidenced with Koza and a few times with Fuu even. Another thing I noticed is that Jin really isn't the stoic mute fics have turned him into, either – he's actually quite the smartass. But that's another chapter for another day. This is my attempt to get Mugen right, and I'd love to hear back how you think I did. Enjoy!

**PS:** Post-series Mugen wandering. How long after the end isn't really pivotal, so I'll leave that up to you. Also, cursing. Lots of cursing. I'm trying to write this in Mugen's "voice" despite it being 3rd person POV.

**PPS:** This will probably be long. But on the bright side, I have an actual plot and resolution (no ambiguous endings!) for this one! All together now: _WOOHOO!

* * *

_

**Old Habits Die Hard

* * *

**

Mugen scowled as the man glared at the tattoos adorning his arm. He was offering him money, for crying out loud, and he was staring like he was holding a scorpion. "Gotta problem, pops?"

The man rolled his eyes and took the money with a shrug. "Money's money, after all." He ushered the pirate into the ryokan and led him through the halls. "Don't make me regret letting you stay here. I'm a generous man."

Mugen rolled his stormy orbs. "Yeah, yeah. Just gimme a room." Now that his nightly acts of debauchery were over, his remuneration was a headache that could kill a bear.

"The bathhouse is out of service temporarily, I'm afraid." The man continued. "I'm waiting for a friend to arrive back in town to fix it – he was the one who built it, after all."

Mugen wasn't in the mood to deal with anything beyond sleep, and this old dude's voice was quickly sending him over the edge.

"Somehow someone managed to split the tub straight in half." He chuckled humorlessly. "If you want a bath, you'll have to head to the communal one in the middle of town."

The pirate wasn't sure how much more he could take before he burst through the next door and kicked the other person out, his head was throbbing so hard.

"You can have this room." The innkeeper slid the door aside for him and gave him a look. "I take pride in this place. No funny business, you hear?"

"I'm just sleepin', pops." He snapped. "Calm your old ass down before you give yourself a heart attack." The innkeeper frowned but said nothing more, and Mugen watched, grateful, as he stormed away.

The vagabond made a beeline for the bed and collapsed on top of it without another noise. It felt later than it actually was, which was good news to him. He fell asleep almost immediately after depositing his sword and shrugging out of his haori.

But as luck would have it, he couldn't even rest for an hour without something screwing it up. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling with wide and incredulous eyes, as the sound of a chick's whimpering filtered through the flimsy rice paper walls. A few minutes later, muffled thumps and bangs joined in, too.

"You gotta be shittin' me…" He sat up and listened as the voice grew louder and even more frantic. "How long's this bitch gonna go for?" There was a reprieve of silence in which he wasted no time in settling back to sleep. But it was short-lived as the same sounds started back up again a little while later. Mugen's body went rigid with rage before he finally decided to take care of the problem himself.

He stormed out of his room with his sword slung haphazardly from his shoulder, bare feet thundering through the halls as he struggled to locate the room the screamer was in. She had to be a prostitute; no husband could make their wife make _those_ kinds of noises. She was the worst hooker in the world, he decided – they were called "women of the night" for a damn reason. If they couldn't do their job discreetly, they had no business in "the" business.

But, Goddammit, where the hell was she? He'd stuck his ear against every door he could find, but to no avail.

"Sneaky bitch…" he whispered, heading outside. "The bathhouse's busted, huh?" He approached the large wooden shack, only to have his suspicions confirmed – they were inside. Ignoring the shrill cries from within, he banged his fist against the ramshackle door until she shut up. "Keep it down, will ya?.!"

The shrieks became fervent as one of them banged back on the wall. Mugen gave a surprised look – were they trying to screw with him?

"Listen, I'm givin' ya one more chance before I bust in there and shut you up myself!"

They did not heed his warning, so he knocked the door off its rusted hinges as consequence. The place fell silent until the dust settled and granted Mugen his vision back. He zeroed-in on the whimpering hooker and froze. He had been wrong. Dead wrong. Before him was a girl – a regular girl – bound, gagged, and restrained by her arms to the wall above her head. She was the only person around.

"Shit." He took in the struggling girl before warily removing the cloth tied around her mouth. Why did this kinda bullshit always happen to _him? _"You alright?" Her kimono was wrinkled and hiked up high – he wasn't sure if it was someone else's doing or if it was a consequence of all her struggling. He didn't care, either way, since she couldn't have been older than 13.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Tears lined her eyes as she nodded her head. "Who sent you? My mother? Oh, God, thank you!"

"Whoa, easy." He took a step back, paranoid. With his luck, that cop that always managed to show up at the worst possible times would reveal himself and cart Mugen off to jail for pedophilia or some shit. "I wasn't sent by no one."

Her big brown eyes were wide in confusion. "I don't understand. Why are you helping me then?"

"I came out here to shut you up." He told her, crouching down to eye-level. "Your bitchin' woke me up." He perused her face now that he was able to get a better look – her bottom lip was split and swollen, and the side of her face was purple with a giant bruise.

"You have to help me!" She struggled against her restraints, a familiar sound to the pirate at this point. "He'll come back to beat me up soon!"

"Hang on a sec, girly." He held up a hand to silence her. "Who did this to you?"

"The innkeeper!" she cried. "I've been here for 4 days straight! _Please!_ Help me!"

"One year for each yaki-manju on that skewer."

Both pirate and captive turned to face the old man in the threshold. The former figured it was better than that sneaky cop bursting out of a crate again, and counted himself lucky.

"Isn't that what I told you?"

The girl began to struggle again as Mugen stood up and scowled.

"Look, pops, I really don't a fuck about this chick as long as I get some sleep."

"She swiped a stick of yaki-manju from my plate the other day." The innkeeper explained, ignoring Mugen's blatant look of disinterest. "I caught the little bitch and tied her up here to teach her a life lesson about justice. One I will teach her everyday each year for each bun of yaki-manju she stole."

Mugen lowered a brow. "That's 5 years."

"Mhm." The other man nodded. "She's quite young now, but she should fill out nicely in time – even faster if I start plumping her up soon."

"He's insane!" the girl exclaimed, chocolate orbs shining with fearful tears. "Please, sir! Let me free!"

Mugen stared into her pleading gaze and sighed. "Yeah, fine." He squatted down again to undo the restraints binding her hands to the wall. She winced at the stiffness in her shoulders as he moved to free her ankles.

"What are you doing?.! Stop that!"

"Screw off, pops." Mugen snarled.

The other man ran to the opposite side of the building and reappeared a moment later wielding a decorative sword. "Step aside, vagrant." His eyes were wide in panic.

Mugen left the girl to figure out her own ankle restraints. "Sickos like you who ruin bitches for the rest of us really piss me off."

"Shut your mouth and leave, son." He positioned the sword in front of him.

Mugen rolled his eyes. "When you point a sword at someone, either you kill them or they kill you. There ain't no in-between, you got me?"

"Draw." He ignored the warning.

Mugen shrugged and did as told, drawing his sword and tossing the sheath aside. This would be over quickly. "Let's go, pops! You ain't gettin' any younger!"

The old man frowned and charged with the sword in front of him like a spear, making the girl squeak in fright. Mugen sidestepped the old man easily and brought his own blade down swiftly. There was a wet thud as something hit the ground, followed by the crash of steel.

"My hand!" The old man fell to the ground in horror, grasping his newly acquired stump of a wrist.

"Decorative swords don't have a blade, you dumb old fuck." He kicked the weapon in question to the side. "Count yourself lucky I'm too hungover to kill you." He moved to the girl, who still struggled with her ankles, and rolled his eyes. "Move your hands." She obeyed and he cut the tangled knot with a flick of his wrist, helping her stand.

The old man got to his feet and clutched his severed hand, glaring at Mugen. "I knew I should have never allowed you to stay here!"

The pirate narrowed his eyes, sick of this shit, and flipped his sheath into the air from the ground. With another kick, he sent it flying into the side of the man's head. He collapsed forward into the pool of his own blood and the girl quickly scurried outside. She stopped and turned just in time to spot Mugen digging in the fallen man's pockets.

"Jackpot." He grinned, retrieving a fat wallet and quickly tucking it away. "Let's see you tie anyone else up with one hand, pops."

"Thank you, samurai." The girl smiled, bowing her raven-haired head.

"Hm?" Mugen cocked a brow. "I ain't a samurai, sweetheart."

She picked her head up with a frown of confusion. "No? Well, either way I am forever in your debt. I have no money with which to offer my gratitude, but…" She averted her eyes. "…You may use my body as you see fit."

"Are you fuckin' nuts?.!" He shouted, appalled and even more paranoid now. "Get the hell outta here, you tramp! Go home!"

She seemed to sigh in relief. "How else may I repay you?"

He growled – the sky was beginning to lighten – and slapped his forehead. "You can repay me by gettin' the hell outta here and never leavin' your mom's side again!"

She stared at him with a frustrated look on her face.

"Go on!" he shooed her like a stray cat. "Git!" He wasn't about to add pedophilia to his list of offenses.

"Samurai, may I ask why you saved me?"

He rolled his eyes. "I ain't a damn samurai!"

"But you're still my hero."

"Aw, shit…" He sighed impatiently. "Look, it was your eyes, okay?"

"My…my eyes?" She blinked them several times as though trying to look at them.

"Yeah. They remind me of an old friend I felt like I was always rescuin'."

She chuckled lightly. "They say old habits die hard. I suppose that makes it true in your case." Her hands reached for his shoulders and he leaned forward slightly to grant her access. Her lips were warm as she pressed them against his scruffy cheek, and his body went rigid in shock. He could practically feel God chiseling "pedophile" into his skin. "Consider _that_ my thanks, samurai." Her cheeks were aflame as she spun around and dashed away.

"I'm not a damn samurai…" He grumbled under his breath after her.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so it was pretty predictable. And maybe the ending was a bit contrived. And the fight scene was lame, too. But did you catch the canon!quote I threw in there? The one about not pointing a sword at someone unless you're ready to be killed. It's one of my favorites, and I've been looking for the chance to squeeze it in somewhere. I hope you enjoyed this ridiculously long update, because it was a serious bitch to write. My word count says 2,175…so apologies are definitely in order! I'll keep trying this new Mugen til I get him right, don't worry! See you next update!


	22. Under the Same Moon

**Just Another Day in the Life

* * *

**

**A/N:** I feel really shitty about the previous chapter's length so I'm making a promise that the next 5 chapters that I post won't be more than 1,000 words. 500 would be my ideal goal, but given my reputation of chapters running away from me, I'm giving myself a grace period of 1,000 instead. That said, I've returned to prompts because I've noticed my shorter chapters were written from them. Enjoy!

**PS:** As usual, if you recognize the prompt please tell me in a review or PM me so I can give proper credit!

**PPS:** Post-series. I'm calling it sad!fluff because I cannot think of another word to use, but I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about when I say that, anyway.

* * *

**Under the Same Moon

* * *

**

Fuu used to love nights like these. The ones where not a cloud was in the sky, the stars were bright, and the moon was full. Summer was rife with nights like these, which was why it was her favorite season. But walking home from the teashop alone on a night like this saddened her, as the only other person she had to share it with was Momo-kun. Nights like these should be spent lying under the stars with loved ones, not staring forlornly from your bedroom window, she reasoned. Momo-kun was a loyal and loving companion, but he simply wasn't enough for the growing Fuu anymore. It was nights like these where she found herself thinking about _them_ the most, she realized.

* * *

Mugen's vision came back into focus slowly. His head was throbbing menacingly, but he figured that was the consequence of being thrown against a wall after a drinking binge. The restaurant had finally put two-and-two together once they shook his wallet and recognized the clanging of pebbles. But that was fine – by the time they kicked him out, he was already blitzed. Now he sat with his back slumped against an alley wall, smirking to himself for a job well done. It felt like an eternity since the last time he'd done something like this, and he wondered why. With a Heavenward glance at the moon, he was suddenly reminded of an equally round and female face – oh yeah, _she_ was why.

* * *

Jin watched as the young girl adjusted the toddler on her hip while grabbing the younger boy's collar to keep him from wandering. She had the watchful eye of a hawk and the stern motherly grasp of a cat. Yet he and the basket of food he wielded went unnoticed by her. He didn't know if the children were hers. He didn't care to know – he was getting too involved already as it were. But he hoped with all his might that they were merely siblings. The moon's light played tricks and made him see things he shouldn't – the young girl wore a pink kimono, the wandering boy wielded blue-ringed limbs. The toddler on her hip stared at Jin and broke the moon's spell and the other two children turned to see what he was staring at. Jin mustered a soft smile as he offered the girl the basket.

* * *

**A/N: **Call the Guinness Book of World Records! Neptune managed to write a 394-word drabble! Not including the A/N's, of course. I'm kind of disappointed with this though, because the word count, in order, goes: 123, 122, 149. I would have been over the moon if I could have made Jin's paragraph closer to 125 words like I managed with Fuu's and Mugen's, but c'est la vie, no? I know I really shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth considering I freaking made good on my original promise of 500 words or less, but it can't be helped! Ugh, whatever. This is my favorite chapter – particularly Jin's paragraph (I'm thinking of elaborating on this plot with him at a later time). See you next update!


	23. Live, Love, Die

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** I'm shooting for 500-words or less again, and I'm fairly certain I'll succeed. But, again, this is _me_, so that 1,000-word grace period still holds. This is another prompt because using one last chapter worked out really well – and if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Enjoy!

**PS:** This conversation takes place after episode 7, _A Risky Racket_. The one with Shinsuke T^T

**PPS:** Wanna set the mood I had during the brainstorming and writing processes? Like a Stone by Audioslave. Something to Die For by Carolina Liar. What It's Like by Everlast. Falling Down by Oasis. Satellite by Guster. Where Did You Sleep Last Night? by Nirvana. Aruarian Dance by Nujabes. Just to name a few ^^

* * *

**Live On Your Toes, Love On Your Knees, Die On Your Feet**

* * *

No one spoke for the remainder of the day. Even when Jin spotted an abandoned shack and Mugen ran ahead to go check it out, no words were shared. On a normal day, Fuu was the conversation starter – whether she was doing so intentionally or unintentionally, it was all the same. So to have her suddenly go mute was cause enough for her bodyguards to walk on eggshells, and what better way to avoid upsetting her than by avoiding words altogether?

Without a single utterance, they each set off for their own nightly quests. Jin was in charge of finding food, Mugen took to collecting firewood, and Fuu scoured the decrepit single-room shack for blankets and other potential amenities.

Mugen, the only one with a 100% success rate, was the first to return with a stack of sticks and dry leaves. He gave Fuu a cursory glance in greeting before plunking down to work. He was in the process of trying to catch a spark when the pink-clad waitress plopped down in front of the kindling; knees under chin and head atop her arms.

Mugen had paused to see if she wanted something, but she merely stared at the pile of sticks as if there were already flames there that he just couldn't see. He continued until one of the sparks caught and regretted it a few minutes after the fire got going – starting the campfire had given him an excuse not to talk, after all.

"Four-Eyes better come back with somethin' good." He stated. "I'm still hungry."

She nodded absently, staring at the fire that was actually there.

"He probably won't, though. There ain't a creek anywhere out here." He scoffed. "And even if there was, it ain't like he'd be able to catch anything, anyway." She didn't laugh and he sighed, digging in his ear for lack of something better to do.

"I appreciate it, Mugen."

"Hm?"

"Your trying to cheer me up, I mean."

"Tch. Whatever. All I'm sayin' is, I'm freakin' starvin'."

Fuu curled herself around her legs even tighter. "Can I ask you something?"

He shrugged his consent.

"Do you think what Shinsuke did was wrong?"

Mugen fell back onto the floor and stared at the ceiling, dreading this moment the second he returned from the woods. "Don'tcha think you'd rather talk to Four-Eyes about this, instead?"

"I'm asking _you_, Mugen."

He sighed, gaze still trained on the shoddy ceiling and taking note of all the vacant cobwebs and birds' nests. "People gotta make a livin' somehow. What better way than doin' what you do best?"

"I figured you'd say something like that."

He wasn't sure what she meant by that. Was it a jab at him being predictable? An insult for his subpar conversation skills? "What d'_you_ think, then?" He felt her eyes on him but didn't bother turning his head; there was a large mosquito caught in a smaller spider's web and he wanted to see how the fight turned out.

"I…I'm not sure what I think." She admitted. "That's why I asked you." He heard her heavy sigh and sensed waterworks in the making. "I mean, he was doing it all for his mother – so she could get better medicine."

Mugen turned – he didn't know _that_ part.

"But he never stopped to think about the people he was robbing." She continued. "Just look at us – one of us could have been on the brink of starvation, and picking my pocket would have sealed that fate."

"None of us look like _that_ bad – he prob'ly robbed people who deserved it."

She buried her face deeper into her arms. "But that's the thing. There's no way to know who deserves what."

He sat up on his elbows, confused as all hell now. "So what d'ya want me to tell you? That he was wrong or that he was right?" His tone was impatient.

"I don't know!" She closed her eyes. "I want to know if it was all worth it. He died for nothing, Mugen, and now his mother is going to die, too! I bet if those men knew _that_, they wouldn't have killed him."

"They killed him 'cause he took _you_ hostage." Open mouth, insert foot, he quickly realized, spotting the way her face lit up with the horrified revelation. "Shit, that came out wrong. Don't cry, I don't wanna put up with Four-Eyes' passive-aggressive horseshit again."

"But you're right, Mugen." She sniffled and swallowed hard to stifle the tears. "If I didn't go looking for him, then those stupid druggies would have never found him, and he wouldn't be dead right now. His death was meaningless and it was my fault!"

"Goddammit!" He sat up and glared at her. "I'm sick'a this shit. Look, that kid died doin' what he did best! If there's a better way to go out, I'd like to know what it is."

"How can you possibly justify that?.!"

"The only way to make it in life is to live on your toes, love on your knees, and die on your feet! Doin' it any other way just ain't gonna cut it, Fuu. That kid went out with a bang – don't ruin his glory with your tears, got me?"

The rotten door was slid aside with some effort, revealing Jin on the other side. He gave his two traveling companions two respective looks as he stepped inside, revealing the assortment of berries, nuts, and grains he managed to scrounge up. The trio ate in heavy silence until the fire died down, signaling bedtime.

"Goodnight guys." Fuu was the one who broke the tense quiet, the profound darkness giving her the courage to do so. "And Mugen?"

"Hm?"

"I appreciate it."

He paused. "Yeah, whatever, girly." He dismissed. "Go to sleep, already."

* * *

**A/N: **I was thinking about Jin having this talk with Fuu since he seems like he would be a better-suited conversationalist, what with the whole big-brother/father-figure thing (I even had Mugen lampshade this just to be safe). But then I recalled the first episode in which Mugen declares, "I'd rather die on my feet with my head held high." and it was a done deal. I don't really know how I feel about making him a Chatty Cathy, though. But, then again, if I didn't this chapter would have never worked. As usual, let me know what you think, as I cut the ending where I cut it because it was 964 words (not counting the A/N's & prompt) and if I wrote another word it would become well over 1,000. So far, I've kept my promise by a hair but we'll see how I do for the next 2. That said, see you next update! ^^


	24. Give Me An Hour

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** 500 words or less. 500 words or less. 500 words or less. Deep breath. Okay. I got this.

**PS:** My fellow MxF shippers are going to lynch me for getting their hopes up…if I execute this sucker properly, that is. Here's hoping!

**PPS:** Innocent!Fuu and Dirty-minded!Mugen ahoy, mates. Misinterpretations up the wazoo and a dash of citrus for zest.

**PPPS:** For the sake of keeping this 500, I'm not going to go into very much detail. I'm taking the easy way out and setting the scene here, no matter how much it kills me (and you) to do so: Post-series. Mugen wandered into the town where Fuu's been working and has decided to stick around for a little while. This is not fluff but may still require some form of humoring. Enjoy!

* * *

"**Give me an hour and I'll give you your dream." Must Be Dreaming by Frou Frou**

* * *

She grabbed his hands and led him inside the empty teahouse with a wide grin. Her cheeks were burning with excitement but she carried on like nothing was the matter. "We have the whole place to ourselves, Mugen."

Music to his fucking ears, he smirked, settling agura-style in front of a table. "Where're the old folks?"

"The teahouse is closed because of the holiday." She rested her chin in her palms and he caught a tasty glance of her cleavage. "No one will bother us." He licked his lips as he watched her pink mouth move. "I wonder what we could possibly do all alone in a teahouse like this?"

He squirmed, itching to seize her and throw her on the table. He'd take her right here right now if he didn't know any better – she was trying to tease him. Normally, he preferred to get the job done with no frills, but he was willing to play along for her.

"What to do…" She tapped her chin in mock-thought. "What…to…_do_…"

He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from grabbing things he shouldn't. She wasn't done playing, he could tell. She planned on drawing this out for as long as he could possibly last, the bitch.

"I mean, there's food in the back." She mused aloud, her eyes smirking at him. "All sorts of sticky sauces and gooey dips…but what could we possibly do with those?"

He had a feeling he wouldn't be able to dip a dumpling in soy sauce the same way after today.

"Give me an hour and I'll give you your dream." She purred, moving from the table to saunter into the back kitchen.

He listened as all sorts of noises filtered through the flimsy curtain and wondered just what the hell she was doing. Pots clattered, utensils scraped, and cabinets slammed. He stared bemusedly at the threshold, hoping she'd return wearing nothing but little gyoza wrappers, which he would then proceed to eat off her body.

"All set." She announced, entering the dining area once again.

Mugen stared, stormy orbs running over and over the girl. "What d'ya mean 'all set'?" He demanded, angered that her stupid pink kimono was still intact. "Where's the sauce? Where's the gyoza wrappers? Where the hell is my nookie, bitch?.!"

"What the hell are you talking about, you pig?.!" She snapped. "I just put the castella in the oven – it'll take an hour to bake!"

* * *

**A/N: **399 words, not including the prompt & A/N's. Not too fond of this one, but I can't say I hate it either. Maybe I'd like it better if I wasn't giving myself a word limit and could therefore elaborate and go balls to the wall (pun very, very much intended). It just feels rushed to me. Either way, I hope you enjoyed! See you next update, which won't be for a while as I'm going on vacation on Saturday. I'm sorry that this pathetic update is what I'm leaving you with. But if I have time after packing, I'm going to try and sneak another one in. If I can. No promises, though. I'm a terrible person like that. Toodle-loo til my next log-in, loves!


	25. XXV

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** No prompt! Gasp! I really couldn't even begin to explain where the idea for this plot-bunny came from, but it gave us another update so why look a gift horse in the mouth, right? Anyway, I'm going to try and stick with my recent 500 (or 1,000) words or less. So without further ado, enjoy!

* * *

**XXV**

* * *

"I'm warning you, if you don't answer correctly, I'm coming back from the dead to kick your ass!" Fuu boomed from her literal cage. There were three, two of which she and Jin were less-than-proud to claim as their own.

It was all their faults. If they had just agreed to pay the toll, they wouldn't have been suckered into playing this stupid, stupid game. The river the bridge ran across didn't even have that swift of a current. If worse came to worse, Fuu would have had no problem simply swimming across. But no. Her two bodyguards were men. Stupid, pugnacious, obstinate, _men_.

The moment the bridge caretaker mentioned the other form of accepted toll payment, the trio was done for. Jin could never resist a good riddle, and Mugen could never back down from a challenge.

So here sat an imprisoned Fuu and Jin, a testament of what would happen if they gave the wrong answer. Mugen had wisely chosen to keep his mouth shut while his two companions attempted to stump the man.

"What is it you keep after giving to someone else?" Fuu had gone first, eager to prove that she could play ball just as well as the sharp-tongued ronin.

The bridge caretaker had laughed at her. "Easy – your word!"

Jin had gone next, asking, "There are four brothers in this world, all born together. The first runs, yet never wearies. The second eats, yet is never full. The third drinks, yet is forever parched. The fourth sings a song that is rarely good."

The man had taken a moment to think, absorbing the mouthful of information before his face lit up with a grin and sent Jin to his shame. "Water, Fire, Earth, and Wind!"

Mugen now stood, tapping his foot anxiously and trying to tune out Fuu's wailing and Jin's glare. "I ain't too good with words, pops."

The bridge caretaker ginned jovially. "Take all the time you need, boy. Neither of us is in a rush."

"Mugen, so help me –!" Fuu was too frustrated to complete her thought, finishing it off with a ferocious snarl instead.

"Surely, you must know at least _one_ riddle?" Jin spoke from next to Fuu.

Mugen snapped his fingers in revelation and grinned wickedly. "Okay, old timer, riddle me this."

The man nodded patiently and quirked a brow in mild interest as Mugen drew his sword.

"It stands on one leg with its heart in its head."

He didn't even skip a beat, chuckling haughtily. "Cabbage, you –"

The pirate interrupted the man's insult when he placed his blade to his neck. "Wrong answer, pops."

* * *

**A/N: **Okay so I wasn't inspired by that one fairy tale – 3 Billy Goats Gruff? – until the end. I'm not even sure which fairy tale it is for sure, but it has something to do with a troll and toll over (under?) a bridge. This wasn't inspired by that. I remembered that tale while in the brainstorming process, actually. It just made more sense having them pay a toll over a bridge with riddles, instead of having them face a random opponent who fancied a good riddle when they could just knock his head from his shoulders in half the time. I mean, that's basically what our resident pirate winds up doing in the end, but either way, I hope you enjoyed. It was fun to write and hopefully fun to read. 440 words, excluding title and author's notes. As for the chapter title, XXV is 25 in Roman numerals (since this one didn't have a prompt). How did I do? Did I stump any of you? Let me know, or give me some of your own riddles! How about I make the riddle that stumps me the new chapter 25 title as reward! See you next update, loves!


	26. EGREGIOUS

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so I'm just going to say right here that this came to me when I was writing a review response to _Acatsrain_. I love when that happens – completely random inspiration you couldn't predict if you tried. So without further ado, enjoy!

**PS:** Rated higher T because of Mugen's potty-mouth ;)

**PPS:** For this to work, I had to make Fuu a bit OOC. But if you grit your teeth and bear it, it should pay off in the end. If I did my job right, that is…

* * *

**Egregious**

* * *

It had all started yesterday. Her squawking had been his wake up call and the subsequent days had gone to shit because of it.

"Ugh, Mugen!" Fuu squealed in disgust at the sight before her. Sprawled lewdly within the inn's only bathtub was a naked Mugen…and prostitute.

He grumbled and clutched his head, looking up at her blearily. "Hm?"

"You jackass! You swine!" She cried, throwing her hands in the air and slamming the door behind her as she stormed out.

The hooker stirred beside him. "That your wife?"

He shook his head. "Shut up."

She scowled, lifting her hands from the water. "My body's all pruny because of you…"

He turned and grabbed her, placing her astride him. "I said shut up."

She grinned lecherously.

* * *

An hour or so later, he'd said his goodbyes to the most agreeable whore he'd probably ever meet and ambled back to the room he shared with his companions.

"–with a hooker, Jin!"

Jin stared pointedly at the door to notify Fuu of the pirate's sudden presence and she turned slowly. Her face deceived any form of embarrassment she may have felt at being caught talking about someone behind their back.

"You egregious lout." She snarled, shoving past him and out the door in a flash of pink.

Guess that meant she didn't want to take a bath anymore.

* * *

The next day, it happened again. They were sitting outside enjoying a pleasant enough lunch under a tree when Mugen felt a gurgling in his bowels. Fuu had gone back to the stand to get more water (since it was free), so Mugen assumed he was safe for the time being with only Jin (another male) around. So the pirate turned his head when the rumbling in his belly began to surface and become impossible to control. He opened his mouth and released the mighty belch with a satisfied grin.

Unfortunately, Fuu had returned just in time to walk straight into it. "Y-You egregious pariah!"

The cups of water trembled on the tray she held for a moment before they unceremoniously fell down on top of his head.

"…Fuck."

* * *

And later that night, too.

"Which direction did Mugen go, Jin?"

The ronin shook his head from across the campfire and shrugged.

"Damn." Fuu spat, knees knocking. "I really have to go…all that free water really caught up to me." She stood around waiting until her dancing could longer contain the tingle, and ventured into the woods behind her. Her instincts told her to keep walking for a little while – the more space between them, the better, after all.

Mugen had heard her coming, of course, but it was difficult at the very least to stop his business and pack himself away by the time she emerged through the thicket in which he'd stolen away.

She stood staring at him with a blank expression, as though the enormity of the moment had yet to catch up with her. The pirate sighed and prepared himself for the earful – even though _she_ had walked in on _him_.

"Y-you egregious dirtbag!"

* * *

So here the trio sat, forming a triangle around the campfire in their desire to sit as far away as they could from each other.

"Quit starin' at me." Mugen snapped. "You got an eyeful earlier, didn't ya?"

Fuu flushed and hugged her knees tighter. "You're such an egregious jerk."

"You keep usin' that word." He said. "I don't think it means what you think it means."

"Egregious?"

He nodded and she snorted.

"I think _you're_ the one who doesn't know what it means."

"Kiss my ass."

She smirked. "Now you're just being an egregious example."

He scowled and reminded himself that his sword would be wasted on an annoying chick like her. "Where'd ya find that word, anyway?" He wasn't a master of figurative tongue-waggling, but he was good at pissing people off. "Hangin' off one'a your artsy-fartsy boy's dicks?"

She was taken aback for a moment before narrowing her eyes in hate. "You egregious lech."

Mugen growled, sick of that Goddamn word. "You egregious bitch!"

"Egregious jackass!"

"Egregious fatass!"

"Egreg –"

Jin sighed heavily, almost a pout if the word existed for the stoic samurai. It was enough to interrupt the two bickering hotheads, though, and he fixed Fuu with an unimpressed stare. "The smaller the understanding of the situation," He turned the look Mugen's way. "The more pretentious the form of expression."

* * *

**A/N:** 742 words, excluding A/N and prompt. It's better than 1,000, right? Anyway, I couldn't resist using one of my favorite quotes from _The Princess Bride_, courtesy of Inigo Montoya. And Jin's zinger comes from John Romano. I really hope Fuu wasn't too unbearable – the only thing OOC about her was her use of $10 words when a $1 one would have sufficed. Love her or hate her, I hope you enjoyed! See you next update.  
(I'm certain that after this, you're as sick of that word as I am ;3)


	27. In Your Dreams

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** I've never done this trope/cliché/plotbunny/whatever you want to call it before. But trust me it's been done a million and one times before, so I simply had to add my own spin on it. And despite what your hopeful heart leads you to believe, this will not be fluff. The prompt is deceptive.

**PS:** …But that doesn't mean it will be horribly horribly depressing either.

**PPS:** I'm shooting for 500 words or less, but by now you should have learned to take everything I say with a grain of salt.

**PPPS:** High T for language. Enjoy ;)

* * *

**In Your Dreams**

* * *

Thrash. "I'll k'you!"

She turned over with a grumble. "Mmuph…"

"G'over hurr!"

Fuu bolted upright and kicked her blanket off of her. "Would you shut –?" She cut herself off when she spotted the source of her sudden insomnia. Mugen lay next to her, tangled up in his blankets (which he never slept under), clutching his pillow. He wore a mighty scowl even though his eyes were closed, and a corner of the pillow was clamped between his teeth.

The waitress turned a highly amused eye Jin's way; but judging by the twitch in his brow and tightness in his clenched eyes, he was trying to ignore their boisterous comrade.

"Fuckin'…" Mugen struggled against his blankets. "Guy…"

Fuu snorted – there was no way they would be able to tune this tirade out, so there was no point in trying. She crawled over to the slumbering pirate and hunched over to level her face with his.

"You'll never escape, Mugen!" She lowered her voice and tried not to laugh when Jin's eyes shot open. He gave her a quirked brow – which was ronin-speak for "What the fuck, Fuu?" she had come to learn.

In response, she placed a finger to her lips for him to stay quiet as the pirate snarled and gripped the pillow tighter. The bastard fought even in his sleep, for crying out loud!

"That won't work on me, Mugen!" She added an evil laugh this time (which was more or less a struggle between her honest laughter and the maniacal role she portraying) just for kicks.

"Hell it won'!" He snapped defiantly, attempting to wrestle the pillow with his legs still tangled.

"Surrender!"

"NEVER!" He rolled over like an alligator and nearly barreled through Fuu in the process. The blanket flew up in the air and finally set the pirate free. He managed to finally pin the pillow beneath him and was currently gnawing on another corner. Fuu watched him curiously; unaware that Mugen was a biter.

A light bulb went off, seeing him in such a position. "Ah, stop Mugen, that tickles…" She purred coyly, deciding to screw with her usual tormentor even further. Turning the tables felt pretty empowering, actually.

But Mugen didn't do anything beyond snore for a few moments, so Fuu repeated her line as teasingly as her voice would allow.

"Y'like 'dat, baby?" His drool stained lips turned up into lecherous smirk before his tongue lapped at the corner he was previously chomping on.

At this, Jin released a heavy sigh. "I doubt either of us want to witness this particular dream any further. You've had your fun, Fuu."

Fuu pouted, having the decency to kick the pirate back onto his futon before falling back to sleep herself.

* * *

The waitress smirked knowingly at the pirate walking ahead of them. "I take it you slept well, Mugen?"

He had a spring in his step this morning as he turned around to nod in affirmation. "I kicked a samurai's ass and stole his woman in my dream last night." He grinned at Jin's scowl. "Today's gonna be a good day, girly."

* * *

**A/N: **T^T I couldn't do it! Minus prompt and A/N's this baby came to 518 words! Wahhhhh! JK, I'm smitten with this one. It's not perfect but it was so much fun to write (and imagine in my mind) ^-^ Hope you enjoyed! See you next update!


	28. SUNFLOWERS

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** Just a little thought that occurred to me when I was dropping my mom's phone off to her after she forgot it today. Her office has sunflowers growing outside and it made me realize something pretty…ironic?

**PS:** Mugen-centric, post-series. Might have some high-T cursing.

* * *

**SUNFLOWERS**

* * *

How many months did they wander together? It felt like forever and a half to him. He glared at the bright yellow disc just barely taller than him. How many times did he save her scrawny ass? He lost track, balling and releasing his fists to relieve some tension.

He stood before an entire field of them. Goddamn sunflowers. They seemed to stretch on for eons and the sight of so much yellow was enough to turn the pirate into a bull seeing red. Their seeds had been harvested and their brown faces were sticky with whatever the hell stuck them there.

The little pink bitch was so obsessed with these stupid flowers, wasn't she? She led him and Four-Eyes all over the damn country like chumps in her search for the dude who smelled like them. Smelled like sunflowers, she kept insisting. _Smelled_ like _sunflowers_. Ha! Talk about a fool's errand!

Mugen drew his temporary sword – a stand-in until he was able to find another one that suited him a bit better – and gave an untrained swing. He made crisp contact and a handful of stalks fell to the ground at his feet. He smirked in victory and stomped their faces in, not really caring if his geta became sticky as a result.

This felt good. No. This felt _damn_ good, he corrected himself.

Sheathing his sword onto his back, he peered down to admire his handiwork. The flowers lay in the dirt, a pile of brown and yellow mush. He spat on it for good measure and realized one seed remained.

He crouched to pluck the resilient bastard from the mess and glared at it. "Sunflowers don't even have a Goddamn smell!" He snarled at it in lieu of a whiny waitress, shoving it into his pocket and stomping down the path back to the village.

* * *

**A/N:** Short and not-so-sweet. 370 words. Hope you were able to enjoy this brief tantrum of his!


	29. Babies Ever After

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** So I just watched _The Curious Case of Benjamin Button_ and am sort of obsessing over the whole "baby on doorstep" plot. I know, I know. The movie's like 3 hours long yet I can't get past the beginning -_-; I have two ideas currently swimming around my head right now, but this one is the first. The second one can be incorporated with another (incomplete) drabble for this series, actually. So maybe I'll just do that. But anyway, here's my take on "baby on doorstep" with MJ&F! Enjoy!

**PS:** For the sake of this turning into a massive chapter, I'll be chopping this sucker up like I did with my "Ants, Bees, and Honey" chapter (17). Needless to say, it will be still be longer than my past few chapters, but not as long as it could have been.

**PPS:** The title comes from a trope, as I am an avid – no, _rabid_ – tvtropes(dot)com follower. The trope has to do with cute happy endings that involve the love interests getting married, finding their perfect white picket fence, and popping out a few babies. Because that's what a happy life is made of, right? …Right? O_O

* * *

**Babies Ever After…**

* * *

Jin watched as his wife bounced their infant son in her arms, gently cooing tender words to calm his cries. Their faces were obscured by the cool moonlight that filtered through the window but he smiled nonetheless; just in time for her face to take on a livid glare and his son's mouth to open wide with a ferocious wail.

"Jin! Wake up! Wake up!" He felt a kick to his side and startled awake, clutching his sword. Mugen stared groggily down at him, his foot prone to his side and at the ready as Fuu glared down at him with a bundle in her arms.

How much saké had he downed tonight if he wasn't awake at a pin drop like usual?

"This is bad, guys." Fuu said, bouncing the wailing bundle in her arms unsuccessfully. The moon was nowhere in sight, obscured by clouds on this dark night. "How the hell did you not hear whoever did this?"

Mugen scoffed, jamming his fingers in his ears. "_Me?_ You were sawin' logs when it happened, too bitch!"

"Don't yell!" Fuu shouted. "Are you a moron? You're scaring him!"

"Put it back where you found it! I don't want it."

"It's not an old umbrella!"

"Who cares – it's not ours!" He growled. "It's kidnappin'!"

Fuu rolled her eyes. "He was abandoned, can't you see that?" She took the child's arms and attempted to play with him. "His mother is probably miles away crying over her inability to care for him herself."

Mugen arched a brow and unplugged his ears, wiping them clean on his shirt. "I think I heard you wrong. If I was her, I'd be celebratin' gettin' rid of a pain in the ass like this."

Fuu's cheek puffed in anger but she stifled her voice in favor of the boy. His cries had finally begun to settle.

"We need to think." Jin's voice interrupted the boy's babbles. He sat calmly, staring intently in front of him. "The mother can't have gotten too far. It's only been a few minutes since his cries woke us up."

Mugen and Fuu gave each other arched brows before turning their gazes back to the ronin.

"Actually…we've sort of had him for a while now." Fuu said, looking anywhere but his eyes.

Mugen nodded. "We only woke your ass up when it wouldn't stop cryin'."

Jin waited several moments for a "Psyche!" to follow each of their statements, and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation when none came. "And just _why_ would you wait this long to try and remedy this situation?" He fought to keep his composure.

Fuu brandished the tyke Jin's way. "He's kinda cute, isn't he?"

The bespectacled samurai's glasses slid down his nose in disbelief for a second before turning to his only other comrade.

Mugen shrugged uselessly. "Just look at these cheeks!" He pinched the face of the child hard enough to be annoying but soft enough to avoid tears. "He's a porker! It's a frickin' riot watchin' him try and walk his fatass around!"

Clearly, Jin was alone in this one.

So. Very. Alone.

* * *

"We should name him."

"Porky."

"Shut your mouth."

"It fits."

"We're not naming him Porky."

"_Shibō*_, then."

"That's just as bad as Porky." A pause. "Hey, Jin! What do you think?"

Jin walked much further ahead of his two companions, grumbling to himself. "I think we should get rid of him…"

"I got a good one – _Koji*_!"

"You jackass!"

* * *

"I got it! Let's flip a coin!" Fuu snapped her fingers upon the genius idea. She fished around her sleeve until the trick coin was safely in her grasp. "Tails and I don't have to do it."

"Say what, that's no fair!" Mugen barked. "Call it in the air." He snatched the coin and flung it up, up, and away before neither Jin nor Fuu could protest. "Tails, bitch!"

Fuu bit her lip nervously, eyeing the clear sky and then the wailing baby in the middle of their group. His diaper needed a change but she'd be damned if she was the one to do it. But no sweat, she'd just call tails again when it was between her and –

"Tails." Jin murmured, as Mugen tossed her coin into the air again.

"No fair! I wasn't ready!"

"Not our problem if you can't pay attention, girly." Mugen waved her off, strolling leisurely toward the river they were following.

Changing this kid's diaper while her bodyguards took a relaxing dip? No way in Hell she'd stand for such chauvinism!

"Dammit."

Her gaze hit the dirt as she searched for the cause of Jin's dismay. It didn't take her long to find it – the coin landed heads up. She breathed a sigh of relief and hauled ass to join Mugen by the river. The flustered samurai peered down at the repugnant-smelling child and sighed as he heard his comrades' sniggering from the water.

* * *

"My arms are tired. Here, take him, Mugen."

"I don't want him."

"C'mon, I've been holding him all day."

"Bastard weighs a ton."

"You've carried _me_ before."

"He's got bigger tits than you do."

"Mugen, you ass! Just take him before I drop him!"

"Make 'em walk. He could use the exercise."

"_Jiiiiiiiiiiin!_"

Jin cringed at the girl's whine but reluctantly took the child from her weary arms anyway. The last thing he needed was _two_ babies crying.

* * *

"Phew, I'm stuffed!" Fuu laid back and rubbed her belly in a way Jin never wished to see again after this day. "Where's the baby?"

Jin didn't know and couldn't say he cared.

"Playin' by the river." Mugen supplied, tearing another fish off his stick.

Fuu's eyes widened enough to make her entire iris visible.

"Relax. I stabbed his shirt into the ground. He ain't goin' anywhere."

She bolted to her feet. "You let him be alone by the river with your sword?.!" Four leaping bounds and she was gone, leaving the two men in momentary silence. "I can't get it from the ground – you stabbed it too hard, moron!"

Jin watched Mugen heave a sigh and use his arms to push himself off the ground. "Pain in my ass the both of 'em. Can't even eat in peace…" He grumbled, leaving Jin in momentary silence.

"For the love of – _be careful!_" Fuu shrieked from beyond the bushes.

The sound of a quick but smooth swish wafted Jin's way, followed by footsteps as his companions returned.

"I wonder if he's hungry." Fuu plopped down and sat the child atop her folded knees.

Mugen held his half-eaten stick of fish in front of the boy's face, only to be swatted by the waitress. "He can't eat solid food, moron."

"Check his mouth for teeth, dumbass." Mugen rebuked, chowing the fish himself. "He sure as hell ain't gettin' milk from anywhere I know."

Fuu scowled at him from beneath a violent blush but pried open the child's mouth anyway. "His top and bottoms are in." She sounded a bit surprised. "How old does that make him?"

Jin shrugged when he felt her eyes on him. How should he know?

"A year." Mugen supplied, chomping away. He swallowed. "At least."

Fuu couldn't resist asking. "How the hell would _you_ know something like that?"

He breathed, but Jin knew better. That was a sigh. "Not much to do on Ryukyu 'sides fight or fuck. That said, there was always a lotta babies wanderin' around."

She hesitated. "So can he eat solid food?"

Mugen shoved the stick in front of the boy's face again, allowing the child to speak for himself. After a moment, Fuu got her answer when he grabbed for it and she fed him a piece. It was quickly spat out and Mugen laughed.

"Just 'cause he can, don't mean he will."

* * *

"You know…" Fuu scurried up behind Jin and peered over his shoulder. "He looks like he could be yours, Jin."

The ronin didn't like the inflection of her voice.

"I mean it." She continued, on tip-toe now that he had stiffened his shoulders in irritation. "I mean, his face is a bit chubbier but other than that he's a dead ringer."

Mugen chuckled from a few steps behind. "Just slap some glasses on 'em and we got a mini-Four-Eyes!"

"Hn."

"You moron. You pissed him off!"

* * *

Headache. One _long_ headache this day had been. But if he could just hold on a bit longer, it would all be over soon. Village lights just over the horizon gave the bespectacled ronin hope, and with hope he was able to keep moving forward. The cause of his discontent was mercifully asleep in his arms, but the pirate's words had planted a seed he'd been regretfully sowing all day.

* * *

"Stay here with him." Fuu escorted him to a bench underneath another building's roof. Jin felt silly – like a weak pregnant woman or a feeble scatterbrained widower – being henpecked by the tiny waitress like this. "If we bring him in, he might wake up. Plus there's smoke – that can't be good for him."

"Hurry yer ass up!" Mugen beckoned from the threshold.

With a final cautious look at the slumbering child in Jin's arms, Fuu turned and followed the red pirate into the restaurant opposite the bench. The small building was bustling with business and Mugen's lanky frame was consequently forced to linger around the threshold as Fuu squeezed her way through the crowd.

The child stirred in Jin's arms for a moment before his obsidian orbs came to stare at him blearily. Jin watched carefully as it started moving its face muscles around. He cracked an amused smile that registered more in his eyes than anything, and watched in entertainment as the child copied the expression.

The samurai held the boy in front of him and lowered his brows in a look of concentration. It was like staring into an infantile mirror as the baby struggled before succeeding in lowering his own eyebrows.

Jin's eyes widened in honest surprise and watched eagerly as his living looking glass did the same. A chuckle escaped his lips as the child reached for his glasses. Recalling the pirate's offhand remark, Jin allowed the child to wear them.

"Infants are known to mock facial expressions."

Jin turned.

"Is he yours?"

He was unsure of how to answer the weary-looking woman who had just sat down next to him.

She nodded sagely. "I understand. I recently lost my family, too. It's nice to have at least _one_ traveling companion, eh?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"How did it happen?" She questioned, a distant look in her eye as she caressed the child's chubby cheek. "If you don't mind my asking, of course."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Your wife."

Jin nodded, aware of how he and the child must have appeared to outsiders. "This child is neither mine nor my wife's. I have no wife to speak of."

The woman retracted her hand in a moment of confused shock at his words. She took a long moment to find her words. "…Are you watching him for his family, then?"

He shook his head negatively. "He was left by an unknown mother."

Her brow wrinkled in pity. "Abandoned? Poor thing." She took to the child's rosy cheeks again.

"What happened to your family – if you don't mind my asking?"

She sighed. "My husband left me after we discovered I'm unable to bear children." She refused to meet Jin's eye as she chuckled darkly. "A woman unable to conceive can barely be called a woman, after all."

Jin watched the way the child grabbed at the woman's fingers and leaned her way. Cautiously, he allowed the woman to hold him and noted the way both their expressions seemed to brighten.

"What would you name him?"

She paused in bouncing the child on her knee. "He has no name?"

"None that he's told us."

She smiled. "_Taro*_."

The samurai nodded just in time for Fuu and Mugen to shimmy out of the packed restaurant. She carried a full tray in her arms, which the pirate eyed hungrily. Both halted in their tracks when they spotted the woman holding their source of entertainment since dawn that day.

"Jin –"

The samurai stood, retrieving his glasses and replacing them atop his nose. "This is the sister of the boy's mother." He ignored the woman's gaping stare.

Fuu scowled. "How can you be sure?"

"There is a birthmark under his diaper that she recognized." He replied without skipping a beat.

The waitress' lips quivered into a dreadful pout as she took in the sight of the baby's gleeful expression, caused by another woman's hands. Mugen wisely swiped the tray from her seconds before she dropped her arms in defeat. She approached the child's new mother as he sat next to the samurai and began picking at the food.

"She ain't happy."

Jin nodded and watched him clean off a stick of dango. "Perhaps all she needs is another stray to look after."

* * *

**A/N:** Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Jin is a master of subtlety, ne? Anywho, I apologize for this one's length but I gave you ample warning in the beginning. But I still feel bad, it's 2,172 words for crying out loud! This is my first real attempt to sort of get into Jin's head since he's the hardest character for me to write. My intention wasn't to make him the bad guy, but more less the only sane person not under the "ZOMG CUTE BABY!" spell. I made Mugen less mean, Jin less silent, and Fuu less helpless. I hope you enjoyed in spite of it's length! See you next update!

Oh, by the way:

*_Shibō_ means "fat, blubber, or grease"

*_Koji_ means "orphan"

*_Taro_ means "first born son, or Big Boy" – it was too fitting not to use!


	30. No Holds Barred

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** So I had plans to turn this plot into a separate story but then I realized each chapter would get really repetitive, so it shall become another update! That said, there is no prompt. The title down there would have been the title for the new fic…if I had decided to make it ;) With that in mind, this one will probably be long as well. Sigh. So without further ado, enjoy this Mugen-centric, post-series chapter!

**PS:** Also, be nice. Fight scenes aren't exactly my forte.

**PPS:** Cursing. Lots of cursing. F-bombs in particular. Also, blood. But there's a difference in reading about blood and actually seeing it fly across a room, isn't there? So let that be a warning. I guess?

* * *

**No Holds Barred**

* * *

"Your boss posted your bail." The man with the keys opened the cell door next to Mugen's. The man got up slowly and shuffled outside, smirking and giving the pirate the finger when the door slammed shut behind him again.

"What about me?.!" Mugen exclaimed, shaking the bars that contained him. "Where's _my_ bail?.!"

The man with the keys shrugged, just as a wealthy looking man came to scold the one who had just been released. "If no one comes by morning, you'll be executed with the other criminals."

"That's bullshit! I didn't do nothin'!"

"That asshole's _face_ says different." Key-man indicated the newly liberated man bowing in front of his boss.

Mugen couldn't hide his smirk – the man was right after all. After he had attempted to steal his bottle of saké, the man had turned thrown the first punch. And while Mugen may not have started it, he sure as shit had finished it.

"Bar fights, _again?_" Boss sounded exasperated as he rolled his eyes at the swollen-faced man at his feet. "And by the looks of it, you _lost_. What the hell kind of guard are you, anyway? I'm not paying you to get your ass handed to you, Genji." He kicked the injured man off his feet. "Get up, you sack of shit. This is coming out of your pay, I hope you know."

"Yo!"

Both stopped in their tracks and turned to Mugen.

"What about me?"

Boss gave an expectant look. "What _about_ you?"

"I'm the one who kicked his ass." The pirate declared. "So get me outta here and I won't hold no grudge."

Boss stared for a moment before bursting into uproarious laughter and kicking his guard over to Mugen's cell. "He wants out so bad? Let him out!" There was a wicked gleam in his eye. "We'll take him in and show him the meaning of _true _freedom, eh boys?"

Mugen wasn't a moron. Clearly, this boss wasn't just some smalltime mook if he had this room full of lawmen laughing nervously alongside him.

* * *

One prison cell for another. He'd really stepped in it now, Mugen realized upon waking up. The bucket empty of the cold water used to rouse him was tossed his way spitefully as Genji grinned his swollen mouth. The pirate had been knocked out the moment he stepped out of his cell last night, probably to prevent him from recognizing anything on the way to his "true freedom."

"You're up, pal."

Mugen shook his head of the droplets like a dog. "I ain't goin' nowhere without breakfast."

"Funny, kid." Genji opened his cell door and nodded for him to get a move on. "Don't make 'em wait or there'll be consequences."

Unwilling to show his confusion in front of someone as stupid as this other man appeared to be, Mugen obliged and followed him out of the cell. They passed several others as they made their way to wherever the hell they were going. Mugen ignored their teasing and placed his hands behind his head, realizing something was missing.

"Hey, what'd you do with my sword?"

Genji smirked. "Gotta earn your weapons, kid."

Mugen halted, not liking the sound of that. The guard pulled back a tarp on the wall, revealing a door concealed behind it. He kicked it open and motioned for Mugen to go through.

"Screw you." Mugen shook his head no. "Where's my sword?"

"Get out there, jerk-off!" Genji grabbed him and shoved him through the door, slamming it shut before he could get back through.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you for that!" Mugen leapt off the dirt and banged his fists against the door. "Ya hear me, princess?.! Better watch your ass!"

"Save it for the match." Two other guards restrained him by his underarms and dragged him down the remainder of the hallway.

Mugen winced at the bright light, unprepared when the two guards tossed him away. But this time, he didn't eat dirt; turning to give them a scowl.

"Round two, ladies and gentlemen!"

Mugen froze and took in his surroundings. He was in an arena, that much was certain. A giant ring surrounded on all sides by spectators. A man stood on the highest tier, barking at the audience. Mugen recognized the boss from last night, sitting with a wicked grin on his face as he stared down at him. He watched as Boss motioned at the announcer, returning a moment later.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that we have fresh meat tonight!" He pointed Mugen's way.

The pirate wanted nothing more than to rip the lips off every single one of these asshats in the audience. See who'd be laughing then.

"Let me explain the rules to you, newbie." Announcer continued. "They're quite simple and something you criminals are rather familiar with." A pause for flair. "Kill, or _be_ killed."

More cheers. Mugen gnashed his teeth – he should have known. He'd seen it a million times before. Bloodsport. Thrown in a ring against another sap in the same position, unable to do anything but fight until one dropped like a Goddamned fly. The winner kept moving onto the next round with new opponents, until he died or they ran out of opponents. In which case, the troupe would move onto the next place, collecting as much fresh meat as they could along the way.

And Mugen had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

"Step forward to meet your opponent, newbie!"

Reluctantly, Mugen did as told. It beat having those two touchy mooks start shoving him again. He spotted the other man walking toward him and blinked several times, wondering just how hard he'd fallen. But when they got close enough to shake hands, he realized this was really happening.

"That's my sword, kid." The pirate informed him. He wasn't even wearing the damn thing right!

"Weapons have to be earned." The brat replied, brandishing the blade and tossing the scabbard aside.

There was no way in hell Mugen was about to fight a kid wielding his own weapon. "Listen, give it back and we can both forfeit this crazy shit."

"Can't." His upturned nose made him look slightly piggish. "Forfeit's death, too. If you don't die here, they kill you in the back."

Mugen slapped his forehead. "So you're tellin' me if we both back down, we both die?"

He nodded.

"Shit." He spat. "Then we got no choice, huh?"

"Nope."

Mugen grinned and cracked his knuckles. "Just try not to dull my blade."

The kid placed it in front of him in a stance that clearly showed he had no experience. "Piece of shit like this couldn't cut dango."

"Tch." Mugen scoffed as the kid took a step forward and swung.

"And it begins, ladies and gentlemen!"

* * *

**A/N:** Humor me with the opening. I'm not privy to the Edo Era justice system so I stuck to what I know. Also, I left out calling them cops because I don't know what they had back then. But yes, Key-Man is pretty much a cop ^^U And if I continued any further, this would have been a Godzilla chapter (1,133 already). And no one wants a Godzilla chapter…unless you're looking for a Godzilla fic, in which case what are you doing here? ;) But enough of my cheesy ways, look out for part 2 coming soon! Stay beautiful, loves and I'll see you next update!


	31. SELF VS SELF

**Just Another Day in the Life**

* * *

**A/N:** _**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE**_ Regarding last chapter, I will not be continuing it here as previously stated. I have turned chapter 30 into a separate story titled "No Holds Barred" which has been uploaded and updated up to chapter 2 so far. So if you want to read the continuation of chapter 30, look no further than my profile! ;)

Now, with that out of the way, here's chapter 31. The plot actually came to me earlier this afternoon when I went to a Renaissance fair. During a joust, there were these two excited little boys sitting behind me. I could hear every bit of their pointless conversations even though I really hate to eavesdrop. But somewhere within their discussions about which element the gray jouster should have (red had fire, green had earth, and yellow had lightning, naturally), one of them mentioned how the fight wasn't fair because one of the jouster's horses was bigger than the rest. He said that they should have all been equal size, and I my brain went into overdrive. Long story short, my musing brought me to this chapter's prompt…_somehow_.

So thank you, excitable little boys from the fair. And no, I don't think metal is an element; but yes, they should have had a blue jouster instead of gray so we could have had the medieval Power Rangers. ;3 Enjoy!

**PS:** Post-series Mugen wandering. Unsure of length, but there's a bit of naughty language. Hopefully it won't get too long. We'll see. Ugh, just read already, I've wasted too much of your time!

* * *

**Nothing is More Dangerous than the Self**

* * *

Damn. The weather was going to turn any second now and he still hadn't found any shelter yet. Maybe while he was relieving that old woman of her plump wallet, he could have asked where the nearest town was. She had no problem running her mouth about curses and karma and whatnot, after all. What good was money if he didn't have anything to spend it on?

He spotted a shack down the path and smirked. Maybe his luck was beginning to turn. Thunder roared from the sky and was loud enough to reverberate within his chest. A droplet splashed onto his nose and he spat, clutching his pocket as he ran to prevent the heavy wallet from leaping out.

By the time he reached the shanty house, the downpour had drenched him to the bone. His mood had soured exponentially and kicking the door down did little to remedy him. He was a bit shocked to hear a gasp from within, though.

"I have no money." The man inside barked. "But if you need shelter, I will provide." Somewhere in the distance, a crow cawed.

Mugen walked in and plopped himself down in the opposite corner of the voice. "Yo." He greeted at his prolonged staring. The shadows obscured the man's face but he could tell he was young.

"I don't cater to _your_ kind." He said suddenly. "Get out."

"Screw you." Mugen spat. "I ain't goin' nowhere til this rain stops." He slipped out of his _happi_ and rung it out, making a point of removing his sword. "'Sides, you really think pissin' off someone of '_my kind_' is such a bright idea, pal?"

"You aren't as tough as your tattoos make you appear."

"Shit-talker, eh?" Mugen was a bit surprised, slapping the sides of his pants to dissipate excess water. "You're lucky this shit-hole's ceiling is too short for me, else I'd–"

"Your threats mean nothing to me." He interrupted. "The smallest dog always barks the loudest."

The pirate narrowed his eyes, pausing in ringing out his pants.

"And I'm certain you're more bark than bite." He continued.

He stopped drying off altogether to glare at him. "Kiss my ass, you cocky prick."

"You are an uneducated and ignorant criminal." He declared.

"Hey–"

"Who runs on nothing but greed and rage."

"I'm warnin' you–"

"You do nothing but act selfishly while others suffer around you!"

"You're startin' to piss me off!" He cleared the floor in a single shove and lunged for the man's throat. "Who the hell –"

Twin stormy orbs grinned back up at him as he froze in shock. Blue-ringed wrists took advantage of his lapse, snaking their way to his neck and constricting. "I am you."

Somewhere in the distance, a crow cawed and startled the pirate awake. He sputtered against the pressure around his neck and took in the empty shack around him. Breath haggard, the flap of wings in the opposite corner nabbed his attention. The black bird stared before taking off through the window, leaving the pirate alone with the purse that seemed much heavier than it was before.

* * *

**A/N:** Kinda dark, sorry. As for interpretation, I'll leave that completely up to you. This chapter can go several ways so let your mind go wild – was he cursed by the old woman he robbed? Was it his guilt manifested into a tangible hallucination? Was it his subconscious berating him for his wicked ways? Was it just the Crow Men fucking with him for kicks? Or is the shack just haunted? ;)

I really like the bond (for lack of a better word) shown between Mugen and the crows of the show. Their connection is powerful and definitely not something you'd expect someone like Mugen to take so seriously. My interpretation is that he sees them as a sort of omen. Good or bad really depends on how he reacts to their warning – like in chapter 15 APPLES, it was a good omen because he took their hint. But enough about birds. I hope you enjoyed (522, minus prompt and A/N's)! See you next update!

BTW: I was alternating two songs while plotting/writing this. Satellite by TV on the Radio and God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash, in case you were interested ^^


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